My love letter to the Delta Gamma shortcut

During my time at IU, I’d grow weary of my peers who’d criticize the Greek community for “not giving back” to the larger student body. Being the weak person that I am, I would let such hurtful opinions go unchallenged.

But today is Valentine’s Day, a day for love and openness about one’s love. And if you ask me, the Greek community has already given us the greatest gift of all. Yes, I write before you today to confess my everlasting love for that little paved shortcut that goes across Delta Gamma’s lawn.

Maybe this will only truly resonate with those who live in the Southeast Neighborhood. Well, most of the Southeast Neighborhood is Jacobs students who won’t ever make as exotic a venture to use the DG path. So this will actually resonate with the — I don’t know —  seven non-Jacobs students who live in the Southeast.

They say the fastest way to a man’s heart is through his feet.

OK, no one says that except for me and several hundred fetishists. And I’d just like to be clear I mean it differently from those people who are into foot stuff — not to say there is anything wrong with that. For me, it’s more about how vital it is for me to find the shortest distance between two points on campus. I’m the kind of garbage that is always running a little bit late for everything. Therefore, anything that shaves off even a few seconds off my travel time is going to be a respected game changer.

But that isn’t to say I only care about this little trail of terrific when I’m in a rush. No, sir or ma’am or non-gender-conforming reader. If I’m not headed anywhere, this path is still great. It’s the gratification to my type-A side of knowing I’m being wise with my time.

Oftentimes, when we refer to a scenic route, we mean opting for something out of the way but with a view making it worthwhile. The DG shortcut is the best of both worlds. You can enjoy the clean-cut lawn and charming cottage-style architecture of the Delta Gamma house rather than the dreary roadside route where Trad Youth has once again spray painted their bullshit on the bridge over the Jordan River.

The DG shortcut is my true Valentine because it gave me time alone with myself and my thoughts. No significant other has ever given me that. It isn’t exactly secluded, but it is the quieter option with less traffic — key qualities for this introvert.

On this little walk of wonderfulness, you save no more than a few seconds, but those seconds add up. Those were seconds I spent discovering myself as a young freshman. I would contemplate the big questions like, “Why are these guys wearing shorts in winter?” or “How did DG get that giant anchor mounted in the yard like that?” I would be a different person if it weren’t for that side-path for success.

It also helped me become a better person more equipped for the real world. I’d be exposed to opportunities for growth, like the awkward exchanges of figuring out who should go first on the little steps if someone is coming the opposite way. If you aren’t learning outside the classroom, then are you really in college?

The DG shortcut also features some A-plus squirrel and bunny activity — essentials when seeking a nice walking experience on campus. DG also has that quaint bench swing. I mean, I never had the guts to sit on it because I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to. But, it was still nice knowing it was there if I ever needed it. It was a safety net for me.

And that’s what the DG shortcut represents at large. In my life, other guys have come and gone. The DG shortcut has always been there for me and everyone else at IU. Unless something drastically changes — like the music school expanding and booting DG from campus like the Maurer School of Law did to Fiji — the DG shortcut isn’t going anywhere.

Thanks you, sisters of Delta Gamma, for this gift that keeps on giving.

@griffinleeds