Hands of Harvard: ‘I am starting to shift my old conservative values’

Disclaimer: The ideas presented below are true and unadulterated testimonies from people at Harvard. All information presented is based on their personal opinions and views. Their identities have been kept confidential and all information is anonymous. If you are a friend or loved one of the interviewee and are able to recognize their identity, please respect the confidentiality of these intimate posts. It is possible that some information presented will be challenging, controversial, or triggering. If you are going to participate in the comment section, please be mindful of the emotions of the interviewees who have so graciously opened up for this project.

“I was raised in a small, southern conservative town. Church and abstinence are so prevalent in my town and as a result I became almost fearful of sex. Coming to Harvard is such a different and liberal experience and now I have to figure out where I stand in this spectrum.

“Harvard is a very liberal place and has introduced the concept that sex can be a pleasurable action which does not necessarily have to have the weight of happening only in marriage or for the purpose of creating a family. The problem is finding the happy medium here.

“I am very torn because part of me thinks that I should have the ability to do whatever I want with whomever I want whenever I want. And the other part of me associates with how I was raised and holds me back from those encounters. It’s weird because sometimes I am in the heat of the moment and I think ‘Whatever, this is college, this is hook-up culture,’ and then all of a sudden my old values creep in and it completely stops me. Hook-up culture is scary because I don’t necessarily know how it works and I don’t think it works in the favor of my old values and I become conflicted. I guess I am trying to figure out who I want to be and what types of people I want to have encounters with here.

“I’m starting to shift my previously more conservative views but, again, the hard part is finding the middle ground. I feel like there are so many assumptions with sex here – like if I start dancing with someone at a party and then we make out and I leave with them, it is automatically assumed I am going to have sex with them. It’s hard because I don’t think I want to lose my virginity unless I’m in a relationship and care about someone but at the same time it feels hard to get to know someone at a party unless you do want to have sex with them.”