Hands of Harvard: ‘Consent is sexy but awkwardness is OK too’
‘A lot of people don’t ask for consent consistently’
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“A lot of people don’t ask for consent consistently, even if they care about their partner’s wellbeing and even if they are interested in having a safe and fun experience with their partner. People still don’t ask as much as they know they should or as much as consent advocates say we should because they are afraid of sounding awkward. And I think this stems from perceptions of sex in the media. I grew up with a lot of perceptions of sex and activities in life from American movies and TV because thats where you would see new situations, but the issue is that in movies and TV no one represents healthy consent. You get this message that the activity should be smooth and you should be able to read your partner’s mind and you should do everything perfectly without having to ask questions.
“I do believe in the idea that consent is sexy but I think it’s important to recognize that awkwardness is OK. If something you tell your partner doesn’t come off as sexy right away, we all should be more aware that that situation is totally fine and will ultimately lead to a better experience for the both of you.
“I think people’s self esteem gets attached to what they are doing when they engage in sexual interaction but in reality, sex can be a weird and awkward thing to do. It shouldn’t be seen as a failure or a social misstep if you have some blunt communication during sex.”