We went on the hunt for cocaine at Harvard
Is there more than just a book up your nose?
There is nowhere on earth quite as stressful as Harvard during midterms.
Each of us has our own way of coping with long nights in the library. The healthy turn to exercise and the majority of us turn to Red Bull and desperation. But do a select few find refuge in more illegal stimuli?
Hearing rumors of students hoovering up lines of cocaine in the library to stay alert, we wanted to see if these lurid allegations were true.
So we ordered expert drug test swabs to search every nook and cranny for Harvard’s cocaine hotspots. The swabs turn blue in the presence of cocaine residue.
Armed with the cutting edge of drug testing technology, we set out to protect our squeaky clean reputation.
Widener
No better place to start than Widener, the largest library on campus with its 57 miles of shelves (yes, we did over two marathons of searching).
Had someone been doing the naughty on our Gutenberg Bible? It seemed not.
Maybe on the desks in the lustrous Loker Reading Room?
With 10 floors to search, we’d set ourselves quite the task.
Every desk returned a negative result.
Having searched high and low and starting to feel a hint of desperation, we tried our luck one last time before heading to the next library on out list:
Despite his suspicious looks, the security guard was having none of it.
Cabot
Next up was the Science Center’s Cabot Library.
The large interactive table seemed like a good surface. Unfortunately, we found no traces.
Maybe down in the movable bookcases?
Cabot was another negative. We moved onto our biggest candidate for residue findings.
Lamont
The late night Lamontsters had to be fueling themselves somehow.
The Larsen Room seemed likely…
… as did the carrels.
Once again though, our search was unsuccessful.
Even in the gents’ restroom.
Be sure to look out for next week’s investigation – we’re just getting started…