Literally everything Hoyas are sick of hearing

Going to school on the hilltop, chances are some assume that you’ve already received a job offer from J.P. Morgan, or that you casually have close personal ties with the First Family.

Despite residing on an absurdly hilly campus and inevitably spending our life savings at the high-end stores that Georgetown’s known for, we Hoyas wouldn’t have it any other way.  But we kindly ask you to refrain from repeatedly interrogating us about what we’re actually going to do with our majors – many of us don’t have the slightest clue.

Here are just a few of the countless things that likely make you cringe if you’re a Georgetown student:

“What are your plans for after college?

For those of us who are aggressively undeclared as far as majors go, there’s a negative chance we have our lives together enough to answer this. Please excuse me while I curl up into a ball and convince myself that college never ends –– not trying to face the real world. Like ever.

“I literally bombed that test”

Let’s be real, you probably got a B.

“The recommended reading for tomorrow”

Recommended? Good one.  Perhaps we’ll get to that after the REQUIRED 300 pages you assign every night, on top of all the homework we have for our four other classes.  Rest assured, next time we have a free moment, we’ll be sure to spend it reading the optional book.  Hoyas have too much time on our hands anyways.

“But like, are you in the Corp?”

If I had a quarter for every time a freshman asked me this after pretending to care about all the clubs I’m involved in, I’d have enough to buy a Hilltoss salad (with extra protein). The answer is still no.

“Saxanet is down”

If you’ve been a victim of one of the infamous Wifi crashes, you know what I’m talking about. In retrospect, probably shouldn’t have waited to submit that paper until 11:59 pm on the due date. Wasn’t the first time, certainly won’t be the last.

“You’re out of flex dollars”

But…it’s only been 2 weeks? Just trying to maintain my steady dirty chai-chocolate croissant diet at UG.

“What did you get on that midterm?”

Everyone here is ridiculously smart. There’s an unspoken “don’t ask don’t tell” policy. Also, please stop messing up the curve. Not all of us have mastered price elasticity of demand yet.

“You look tired/seem stressed!”

You nailed it –– sleep is a social construct. Thanks for pointing that out!

“I finished that assignment last week”

Dope, in that case, you can do mine too!

“I was at a networking event and….”

We get it, you “network.” If you’re in the MSB, you either live in suits and excel at feigning interest in every company/consulting opportunity out there, or you don’t plan on attending one at least until senior year – there’s just no in between.

“There are no more plates at Leo’s”

If you’re still bound to a meal plan, you probably go to Leo’s from time to time, and you likely expect there to be plates available when you go. It’s cool, they’re basically just encouraging us to be savages. Who needs plates when you have hands!

 “The textbook for this class isn’t that expensive” 

Well Professor, I wouldn’t exactly say $150 for one of the ten required textbooks for this class is “cheap.” Besides, chances are we’ll only spend one class period on it.