A definitive list of every drunk student you’ll meet at FSU

A night out in Tallahassee is the ultimate mixed bag of chaos. From your first day at FSU, it’s evident why they call this place ‘Tallanasty”. In your average night out, you’re bound to find at least a few of these stereotypes and you’ll eventually realize what kind of person you are on a night out at FSU.

The guy who takes too many Y-Bombs

When you see this guy, you can’t miss him. He walks straight up to the bar with a suspiciously wired look in his eye. “Sup man, can I get 8 Y-Bombs?” He then proceeds to shotgun four Red Bull-Vodkas at the blink of an eye. If you need help finding the Y-Bomb fiend, he’s usually sweaty and they can’t go a day without saying the word “rage”.

The girl who wants to go somewhere else

We all have that one friend who’s just not satisfied with the group consensus. Alright, we get it—Standard is top tier—now lets get back to the lunchboxes. She only posts pictures from Clyde’s and Recess, but we’ll all still see her at Pots on St. Paddy’s Day. Find this girl fussing near the entrance talking about how “The Strip has free cover tonight.”

The incoherent idiot

This is by far the easiest drunk to identify. These are the type of people who come to class with shades on and a hint of Skol seeping from their pores. They morph into their belligerent state, which usually results in their own personal language and their text messages sound about as bad as their slurred dreams. This is the guy who’s one step closer to passing out than you. Once the clock hits midnight it’s all emptiness for them.

The Snapchat queen

What’s the fun in going out if you’re building a 40 snap collection of the night? Sure, your average Snapchatter will take a couple videos, but this girl just takes it too far. She is also the first one to jump in the way when she sees someone taking a Snapchat video. If there’s one thing we know, it’s these girls make for some good entertainment, and they’ll get pretty lit for their followers. Regardless of how stupidly entertaining they may be, going out to a club doesn’t have to be a reality TV experience. Go home Miley Jenner.

The Animal House doppelganger

There’s a surprising amount of the Tallahassee population that looks exactly like Belushi. Catch this super bro slamming a can of beer over his head, and he’s mastered the art of hooting and hollering. When he’s around, the group usually parties hard but don’t be fooled, the vibes are always good. He’s the one who can’t turn down a day drinking festivity. This is the guy you wanna be with for those Toga date functions.

The crier

No matter how much fun you’re having there’s that one chick that just can’t stop crying. Just get her a Vodka shot and brace yourself for the waterworks. Night times are pretty hazy for this sad stereotype, but don’t get it wrong, sadboys can also be categorized with this girl. We should honestly just set them up for a Netflix and chill.

The Binge Drinker

We all know that one guy who wakes up the next morning like “There’s only one way to cure a hangover”. No matter how many tests you have this week, this dude’s still got time to send beer pong Snapchats at 3pm on a Wednesday. This is the guy who asks if you wanna get lunch but doesn’t tell you he’s gonna drink 5 Gordo Smashes.

The girl who vibes

There’s always that one girl in the corner who looks like she’s feeling herself. Runnning around the bar with nothing but smiles, this chick may be the most inviting person out. She leaves us all wondering what drugs are in her system, but for now she’ll just vibe to The Weeknd. This girl adds to the upbeat atmosphere of the “Tally nightlife” lifestyle.