The indispensable 2017 Presidential Inauguration drinking game

Who says you can’t start drinking at noon?

It’s no shocker that this election year has been a particularly taxing one; no matter whose side you were on, 2016 was a nail-biter for all of us.

Now, at long last, this stressful time has come to a close, for better or for worse. The next four years will certainly be an interesting period in American history, and tomorrow we should all take action to make those four years the best we possibly can.

 

Today, though, whether you’re celebrating or mourning the results of this year’s election, it’s safe to say we could all use a little liquoring up, if for no other reason than to drown our sorrows about the whirlwind year 2016 turned out to be. So, without further ado, follow these rules, go forth, and drink.

For the purposes of this drinking game, these measurements are flexible. If your tired soul needs your sip to be more like a gulp, so be it. It’s the weekend, after all.

What you’ll need:

  • Literally every drop of booze you can get your hands on
  • Quintessential red cups
  • A high tolerance for alcohol and bullshit

Sip when… 

  • A former President/First Lady is shown
  • Trump sniffles. Sip again if he does the smacking sound afterward
  • The camera cuts to someone looking uncomfortable. Finish your drink if it’s Hillary
  • Trump says “great,” “terrific,” “tremendous,” or “huge”
  • Trump pauses to purse his lips. Keep drinking until he continues speaking
  • The camera pans to Melania or anyone else in the Trump family looking smug

Take a shot when… 

  • Trump says “bigly”
  • Trump mentions ISIS
  • “Make America Great Again”
  • Trump’s “hair” blows in the wind and looks like a troll doll
  • Camera pans to a person of color. Take another shot if they look irritated or offended

Down your drink when… 

  • Trump makes up a word
  • Trump butchers some part of the Oath of Office
  • Camera pans to somebody crying
  • Trump compliments himself, repeatedly

Finally, and most importantly, polish off that drink in your hand when the whole damn thing is over. Congratulations, champ. You survived the 2017 Presidential Inauguration. Now go back to bed, it’s only 12:30, after all.

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