I went undercover to ask UM fans what they think about FSU
‘They’re super ratchet, but in a sort of endearing way’
This past weekend, I decided to drive down seven hours from Tallahassee to Miami to tailgate for the big FSU/UM game. While there, I thought it would be fun to go undercover as a UM fan to see what our “rivals” really think about us. I kept my real Seminole identity a secret so that they wouldn’t hold back with their answers. Not gonna lie, their words stung a little.
Michael Padron, UM fan
First thing you think of when I say “FSU”: “Diarrhea.”
Describe the typical FSU student: “Preppy, stuck up assholes.”
Who is the better QB? Francois or Kaaya?: “Kaaya, only because his mom played Felisha in the movie Friday. Bye, Felisha!”
Lee, UM student
First thing you think of when I say “FSU”: “Your girls are really hot.”
Describe the typical FSU student: “Pretty, but dumb as a rock.”
Sebastian, UM student
First thing you think of when I say “FSU”: “Grimy.”
Describe the typical FSU student: “Rejected from UF.”
Who is the better QB? Francois or Kaaya?: “Kaaya, obviously. Francois can’t even throw a ball.”
Kevin, UM fan
First thing you think of when I say “FSU”: “Crabs, and not the type you steal from Publix.”
Describe the typical FSU student: “Shitty ass frat kids.”
Who is the better QB? Francois or Kaaya?: “Kaaya, duh. Look at the stats.”
Ellen, UM student
First thing you think of when I say “FSU”: “Absolute trash.”
Describe the typical FSU student: “I don’t know, I don’t think of FSU too much. I have better things to do, like study. Which is clearly something FSU students don’t do much of.”
Steve, UM fan
First thing you think of when I say “FSU”: “The Tallynasty.”
Describe the typical FSU student: “Drunk and high all day, everyday.”
Who is the better QB? Francois or Kaaya?: “Kaaya, obviously! Francois ain’t shit.”
Katie, UM student
First thing that you think of when I say “FSU”: “Stupid frat boys.”
Describe the typical FSU student: “They’re super ratchet, but in a sort of endearing way.”
Who is the better QB? Francois or Kaaya?: “Kaaya, for sure!”
Danny, UM fan
First thing that you think of when I say “FSU”: “Florida STD University.”
Describe the typical FSU student: “Everytime I type ‘FSU’ on my phone, autocorrect switches it to ‘gay’, so take that as you will.”
Who is the better QB? Francois or Kaaya?: “Kaaya is the better QB, but Francois is the better crab thief, unless he already has crabs.”
So it seems like most UM fans would agree that we’re nothing but a bunch of ratchet party animals who spend all of our time drinking instead of studying, but hey, what’s wrong with that?