The definitive hangover map of Gainesville

grab yo kids, grab yo wife, we’re going to Bagels and Noodles

Going to mid and navigating the bars downtown can be a positive experience in the moment. But the next morning, your body and mind could not feel any worse. If the pre-gaming alone for your night out wasn’t enough alcohol to make you feel unbelievably exhausted, the rest of your night surely was. Here is a delicately crafted itinerary for the dreaded morning after a night out.

Pascal’s

Coffee–the savior of college students–can be found right across from campus at the cozy Pascal’s Coffeehouse. You can read a book, you can “study” for your biology exam, or you can chat with the friends you just spent the previous seventeen hours with. Here’s the thing about coffee. Yes, you can get that much needed boost of energy from a sweet cup of caffeine, but at what cost? For the average college student, who tends to be an active member of the caffeine club, they might just need a cup to combat their withdrawal. On the other hand, keep in mind that choosing a quick fix to lethargy might make the hangover worse since blood vessels will narrow with the consumption of caffeine. “Blood vessels will narrow”? That’s right, say hello to the depths of headache city.

we're back! brewing some awesome coffees from our friends at @ceremonycoffee and @boldbeancoffee #welcometopascals

A photo posted by Pascal's Coffeehouse (@pascalscoffee) on Aug 24, 2015 at 5:25am PDT

Bagels and Noodles

Asian food to the rescue! Going the pad thai route is always recommended, but hearty breakfast food is perfect too. Eggs are high in Vitamin B, which your body needs to metabolize all those toxins you knowingly consumed the night before in the form of twelve shots at Balls. Scarf down an omelet or an Eggel Bagel, and drink some Thai tea to recuperate. Bagels and Noodles is a short walk from campus, and the perfect excuse to get out into the sun and out of your dark dorm room with your hibernating roommate.

my heart

A photo posted by Christy Walters (@christy.walters) on May 7, 2015 at 7:49am PDT

Karma Cream

Next up is dessert. If you aren’t interested in ice cream because you’re lactose intolerant, welcome to the solution to all your problems. Exotic flavors such as Sea Salted Caramel & Chocolate are dairy-free, soy-free, gluten-free, and certified organic. But, if you could care less about any one of those adjectives, then just go for a couple of scoops of the regular dairy ice cream with some extra sugary toppings. Maybe ice cream isn’t really what you’re looking for right now, given that you can barely swallow water if you went a little too hard last night. If that’s the case, brownies, cupcakes, and cookies are available for your munching pleasure. Can anyone ever say no to a freshly baked cinnamon roll from Karma Cream?

Lake Wauberg

If you weren’t feeling ice cream in the chilly October (to native Floridians) Gainesville weather, then go the natural way without sugar. Fresh air is key to feeling better mentally and physically. You may have thought that wine was good for you, but for some reasons those two bottles last night are taking their toll. Lake Wauberg is the place to go for some fun in the sun. It’s also free for UF students, a feature that can amp the attractiveness of an activity to any broke college student. If you’re hungover and your parents are coming into town, distract them with some pedal boats while they do all the work and you take a nap. If sailing seems impossible because you’re still wobbling on your feet from the night before, get yourself comfortable in a hammock near the water.

our little nest ?

A photo posted by yesha ◡̈ (@yayshahaha) on Jul 3, 2015 at 2:40pm PDT

PetSmart

No, this isn’t a plug to get Halloween-themed cat toys. This is to bring your attention to PUPPIES! Chances are you went out on a Friday or Saturday night, which means the morning after is the perfect time to see some kittens and puppies. Every Saturday and Sunday from 11 am to 5 pm, PetSmart hosts an adoption drive for various shelters to bring in their animals to be rescued by the good people in Gainesville. These cats and dogs do need homes, so consider fostering one, or perhaps even adopting if you’re ready. But, at the very least, you could help out by volunteering to walk dogs or help with anything that the rescue organizations need. What you’ll get in return is playing with a puppy who reminds you of your sweet dog back home, and what could cure your hangover more than happiness? Sleep could probably help you. But, that’s the coward’s way out. Go be active by cuddling a puppy.

Happy DOGust! August 1st is the universal birthday for shelter dogs whose birthdays are unknown. If you saved a shelter dog, share their birthday pic with us using #iadopted. Happy birthday to all of these special pets (and the kitties too!)

A photo posted by PetSmart Charities (@petsmartcharities) on Aug 1, 2016 at 10:36am PDT

Do a slight repeat of last night’s drinking

If nothing else has worked, or if you’ve ignored everything around you and stayed in bed for the entire day, then maybe this is a necessary measure. The “hair of the dog” cure refers to continuing with some light drinking the morning after to avoid hangover symptoms. Does this work? Should you head back to the same bar that you just left twelve hours ago? The answer from any concerned friend, roommate, or parent is: probably not, unless you are not afraid of broaching the borders of alcoholism. But, if your head is still pounding and you could not feel more like death, maybe you could go back to Balls for one single shot, since twelve clearly did not help you out the first time.

First time at Balls and all i got was a red tongue&this picture #YesBoysImSingle #WhoLetMeOut

A photo posted by Sarah Nohmer (@snohmer13) on Sep 24, 2016 at 7:26am PDT

Before you embark on this journey to pre-Friday night mental clarity, try to remember what a good time you had and how it was worth it. It probably wasn’t though. Next time, eat some food between your twelve shots, and maybe drink just two at a time and not ten in a row and one after you’ve puked your Chipotle.

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