UF has frozen over
We’re all gonna die
Seriously guys, what is happening today? Yesterday it was 82, and now this shit? I can’t even explain how upset and baffled I am, and I know I’m not alone in this feeling.
Here are all the stages of warm weather grief we’ve experienced today — Florida, you have really betrayed us.
Stage 1
5:00am, wake up shaking with heart racing thinking “holy shit, how am I so cold right now?”
Stage 2
Web MD says these symptoms could be Supraventricular tachycardia or Lyme disease.
Stage 3
Go on Snapchat because we’re awake anyway and the weather filter says it’s 46 degrees outside.
Stage 4
Call mother because everyone brought home their cold weather (Florida oops) coat during Spring Break.
Stage 5
Realize this is basically the movie Frozen, without an Oscar-winning song or princess-like couture clothing.
Ok, this is climate change at its finest, our school environment is literally freezing over.
Stage 6
Google “Gainesville weather” and see that no newspaper or magazine has covered how cold it is so this is obviously a conspiracy.
Stage 7
Shame/guilt because the Earth is about to implode.
There’s no saving us now, everyone should probably head to mid for one last hoorah…
This is apocalypse: we are all going to die.