Everything I’ve learned being Indian in American

The United States is notoriously known for being a melting pot. It is the most diverse country on the planet consisting of individuals from countries as close as Canada as well as people from countries as distant as China.

America’s diversity is one of the most beautiful aspects of this nation. You can randomly meet someone from any part of the world and feel as if you have travelled there, all for free.

Personally, I come from an Indian background but I was raised in the United States. Balancing my Indian heritage with my American upbringing is a constant challenge, but it also a blessing in disguise. There are a number of benefits and hardships a first-generation student.

Double the holidays, double the celebration

One of the best parts of experiencing two different cultures is that you can celebrate every single holiday that comes your way. Holidays which come from our original (Indian) identity are celebrated in a religious fashion, while holidays from the American culture are celebrated culturally.

As a child, I learned about Diwali and all the stories of Hindu deities which lead to a beautiful festival of lights, along with putting up a Christmas tree at the end of the year and believing in Santa.

You never know when to be formal and informal

Relationships with family and friends vary based on your upbringing. In Indian culture, we call our parents’ friends uncles and aunties, even though we aren’t related to them. While in American culture, we call our friends’ parents Mr. and Mrs., followed by their last name.

Making everyone our “family” in Indian culture shows the closeness and respect we have for everyone. All Indians like to think we are one giant family. Both cultures show respect for others, just in very different ways.

School or sports

My parents always pushed for me to excel in academics, while everything else was not as important. If I chose not to balance my two cultures, I would have never been involved in school. I would have never chose to play volleyball. And most importantly, I would have never chosen my biggest passion of dance.

The American culture I have been exposed to pushes me to be a well-rounded student. My parents consistently pushed my academic career which has definitely helped me, but the skills I learned from sports, like teamwork and dedication, are qualities that will last me a lifetime.

Common pronunciations and lingos may not be so common

English was my first language, however, it was not for my parents. They were my first teachers so any knowledge gaps they had got passed down to me. There are numerous words they would mispronounce, like salad or capris, and I would do the same also. I recall being made fun of for those mistakes, but my anger was unjustified.

First generation students understand that our parents are immigrants and even though they may not be able to speak flawless English, they are still successful enough to give us extremely fortunate lives.

You are either the freak or the coolest kid in school

People accept different cultures in two separate ways; either with open arms or wanting you to be just like them. I think the older we get, we realize that everyone’s unique qualities are worth learning. Early adolescence is the hardest time for any first generation student.

It is the time you have to decide whether you want to be yourself and let your real culture come out, or choose to forget where you came from and succumb to peer pressure. Do you want to be keep with your roots or become “white-washed”? The choice is all yours.

Your skin color is either irrelevant or the most relevant thing about you

For years, equality amongst races has existed. No matter what race you are, it will matter. White, black, or brown, the first thing people see about you is your color. To some, it does not matter, but to most, you will be judged based upon your complexion. Stereotypes are a never ending problem.

An Indian will always be assumed in the role of a taxi driver or a customer support respondent, even though millions of Indians have become successful doctors and businessmen. These stereotypes will never change and every single non-white American has to carry this burden with them. Some are so blessed that their skills are all that matters, but not all of us are so likely.

Arranged marriage is a real option

My parents had an arranged marriage back in the 1990s and people in my family still have arranged marriages. In American culture, it seems somewhat absurd. People wonder how you let your family decide who you will spend the rest of your life with. In Indian culture specifically, it is tradition to let your elders put a suitable mate that would be compatible with you and your family.

Obviously, as time goes on, people adapt and the occurrence of arranged marriages has decreased, especially in metropolitan areas. Arranged marriages have very low divorce rates showing that maybe that is a possible step to take. Personally, my parents have given me the liberty to choose my own future husband, yet I know if in the future I want an arranged marriage, I can trust my parents to find me the right guy.

Delicious food is the new smelly food

In elementary school, whenever I would bring my mother’s homemade Indian food for lunch, I was made fun of. People thought it smelled funny and looked weird. It did not occur just once or twice, but rather every time my mother put the effort to make me her finest food and specifically make my favorite dishes.

One day, I had enough of it and asked my mother to never give me Indian food to school ever again. It hurt me to ask her that because I loved the Indian food, but I had to pretend like I hated it. I had to pretend like I preferred the dull sandwiches that were given as a replacement over the rich, tasteful Indian food I was raised with.

Sometimes we come to a crossroad where we have to pick the battle to stand out, whether it is with food or something else, or to blend in with the rest and let the haters win.

 Your name will never be spelled right at Starbucks

 Every single time I go to Starbucks, they ask me my name, yet it is guaranteed to be spelled incorrectly every time. It will be spelled like “Keenika” or “Kinika” or “Karen”, when it is in fact Knika. My parents gave me a unique name which is a burden I have to carry for the rest of my life.

Their choice made me want to give my children a simple American name. Recently, I realized how wrong that is. I am Indian and my name is an effortless expression of that. My name is as unique as the culture I have been born into. I may not have a perfect Starbucks cup, but at least, my name stands out.  

Culture can be an escape

 Sometimes the world can get very overwhelming, both worlds.

No matter how much you dive into your new culture, at the end of the day you will always come back to your roots and return to the culture and values you were born into. Some days it is difficult to be an American, other days it is hard to be an Indian, but no matter what, both of these cultures define who I am and I would not want it any other way.

I feel glad for the ability to straddle two cultures and call both countries my home.