How to cope when suffering with a mental illness at Emory

Mental illness is one of those things you just don’t talk about, particularly at a highly competitive school like Emory. As one of the many students on Emory’s campus who suffers from mental illness (specifically clinical depression and OCD), I think it’s time we started the conversation.

Yes, we need a real conversation about what it means to be mentally ill at Emory, because the reality isn’t always a rosy beam of hope (although, it isn’t a black pit of despair either); really, it’s a bit of a bumpy road that will get you where you need to go.

You need to advocate for yourself

This was, quite possibly, the most difficult lesson for me to learn in my college career. Because of the stigma surrounding mental illness, we’re scared to ask for help. I wasted a lot of my time being miserable, hoping someone would see I was miserable, validate my desire for help.

And sometimes there are really perceptive people out there who will see your pain and help you out. But the world isn’t full of mind readers.

You know yourself better than anyone, and you should never be ashamed to seek out help. Don’t be afraid to visit the counseling center. Visit the ADSR Office and tell them what you need to make your life here more manageable (whether it’s extra absences, extra time on tests, you name it). Standing up for yourself can be the most challenging part of having a mental illness on campus, but it’s also one of the most rewarding. You gain a certain strength by being your own advocate. Each step you take is like a small victory.

Many people here understand

I expected my professors to be annoyed with my ADSR paperwork, but most of them were more than happy to accommodate. They don’t ask what your disability is – that’s between you and your doctor/therapist. More often than not, the question is, “What is best for you?”

Even the toughest professors are more than willing to work with you to keep you healthy and successful. I’ll never forget one of my professors saying in the first class, “Your happiness is more important than any class you take at this school.” I found that, for the most part, my peers were pretty kind and understanding too. While I only attended one of their meetings, I felt safe and welcomed at Active Minds, ” a student group that focuses on reducing the stigma that surrounds mental health issues.” It’s not a support group (although Emory does have those), but it is a great place to start a productive conversation and bring the topic of mental illness out from the shadows. Every Emory student, regardless of the status of their mental health, should do more to educate themselves on these issues and make this community even more understanding.

Some people don’t understand…so fuck ’em

Just like anywhere else in the world, Emory has people who are less than supportive of people with mental illness…mostly peers. There have been times where my obsessive-compulsive behaviors have been laughed at, where my obvious social anxiety made me a “weirdo,” and just felt terrible about myself in general because I couldn’t be “normal.”

I’ve been dealing with this kind of bullying since I was a kid, and it’s everywhere you go. And it’s not easy to deal with. I’m hoping that, soon, our behavior towards the anxious, the depressed, and those with all mental heath issues will change. But until that time, every time you encounter an asshole, remember this simple mantra: fuck ’em.

Maybe they have their own issues. Maybe they’re ignorant. But, like my therapist told me, “You didn’t make them say that. They made themselves say that.”

You’re not the problem. The stigma is the problem. Try your best every day. Surround yourself with support. And disregard the haters.

Don’t beat yourself up for taking care of yourself

Sometimes you may need to sleep in because you had a panic attack last night and had trouble getting some sleep. Sometimes you need to ask for an extension because you can only handle so much work at once. Sometimes you need to watch Finding Nemo instead of going out because dang it, it’s been a rough week.

As long as these things don’t severely affect your health, classwork, and relationships, you should not feel guilty. We’re all human, and some of us need more self-care than others. Just remember that the goal is to help yourself heal, not to hide from the world.

Sometimes you’ll have to try many kinds of treatment

If you’re open about your mental health issues, many supportive people will tell you what is supposed to work for you. “Exercise will cure your depression!” “Have you tried herbal remedies?” “You should go out more!”

So what works, exactly?

It depends on who you are, but this is a conversation that should happen between you and your doctor/therapist/psychiatrist. It can be a difficult road sometimes. You and your doctor have to search for the medication that’s right for you (if you and your doctor think medication is what is best for your situation). You and your therapist have to work out how to deal with stressful situations, what works and what doesn’t.

Remember to keep an open mind, and never be afraid to mention when a certain kind of treatment isn’t working out for you. The conversation is not about finding easy solutions, but about what is best for you.

Be your own best

The hardest habit that I’m sure many Emory students have to break is comparing themselves with other people. This can be a huge problem for people suffering from mental health issues, having to work on coping in addition to our schoolwork.

You don’t have to get the best grade in the class. You don’t have to be the MVP. You should be proud of your own personal best, even if that’s just getting out of bed and going to class. With each step, you’ll get stronger, even if you can’t tackle every obstacle.

Your purpose as a human being isn’t to compete. Your purpose is to be.

You can always call a hotline

DISCLAIMER: If you’re having an emergency, please call 911. ALWAYS. However, if you need to talk to someone, people always seem to give you the National Suicide Hotline (1 (800) 273-8255), which sometimes takes a long wait to get to talk to someone.

To talk to someone more quickly, try the Crisis Center Locator. You enter your zip code, and you will get results for the closest crisis center. You can call some of them and they will be more than happy to speak with you. Emory also gives out these nifty cards with lists of numbers:

Counseling Center: 404-727-7450

Student Health: 404-727-7551

Psychiatrist on Call: 404-778-5000

Emory Helpline (8:30PM-1AM): 404-727-HELP (4357)

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-SUICIDE

Respect Program: 404-727-1514

Emory Police: 404-727-6111

Don’t be afraid to call if you need it. The people on these hotlines are specially trained and will not judge you, and only seek to help you.