Speaking to the faces of the ‘What I Be’ Project
‘One doesn’t really think of their insecurities as a source of pride’
The popular “What I Be” campaign returned to Duke for the third time on February 8th to 12th. Photographer Steve Rosenfield began this project in 2012, and it has grown into a global movement. The project aims to “build securities through insecurities.”
We spoke to some of the students involved about their experience working with Steve, and their involvement in the project.
This is the first round of my interviews. Make sure to check back for the second round of interviews soon.
Thamina Stoll, Junior, Political Science
What was the experience like working with Steve? Describe the conversation you had – how did you reach the specific vulnerability you shared?
Steve is super cool. It wasn’t difficult to talk to him because sometimes it’s easier to share your insecurities and deepest thoughts with a complete stranger rather than with your friends or family. Nevertheless, it took us quite some time, almost an entire hour, until we had finally arrived where we wanted to be. I had used the week prior to the photoshoot to deeply reflect on myself and since I enjoy writing, I just wrote all of my feelings down on a piece of paper.
When I walked into the room and sat down with Steve, I was so convinced that I was prepared for what was about to happen. Turns out I was wrong. Ultimately, we ended up going into a completely different direction than I had expected, and while the whole process was emotionally challenging, I am really happy with the outcome.
What was the most challenging part of the experience, and what was the most empowering?
Since I was pretty much settled on an overall theme when I walked in, it was kind of hard to let go of it at first. You’re also a little unsure on how much you actually want and can share with a person that you had just met five minutes ago. Besides, it is rather unconventional to embrace your insecurities. Society usually tells you to focus on the positive things. But I think in order to come to terms with one’s own emotional fragility, you have to go through this process. You can’t just always run away. Sometimes you just have to face reality and accept that it’s fine to be insecure and once you’ve reached that point, the narrative starts to shift from challenging to empowering.
Were you nervous to have the picture go public? Tell me about your emotions regarding this experience.
I think everyone in the project is. At first I didn’t like my picture at all. I don’t like to see myself not smiling. That serious expression on my face is just as unfamiliar to me as the nature of the conversation I had with Steve. But the artistic and the emotional aspects complement each other really well. The more I look at the picture, the more I start to like it.
What have the conversations been like afterwards? Have you spoken with your parents about your vulnerability, your roommates, random people, etc?
I haven’t spoken to my parents about my vulnerability yet. Not because I’m afraid – they’re awesome and super supportive – but rather because I haven’t finished writing my explanation yet. Everyone is supposed to write a 250-word long reflection on their picture. The other day, I tried to do this, but I ended up starring at a blank document for close to 15 minutes.
As a writer, that usually doesn’t happen to me. I just didn’t know where to start, what to include, what to leave out. Even though it might take some time, I will take that time for myself and when I’m ready, I’ll share it with my parents.
I have talked to a small amount of friends about it and their reaction was great. I was also lucky enough that three of my sorority sisters and friends were part of the project so I talked to one of them about it immediately afterwards which was definitely helpful.
Describe the experience in one word.
Intense.
Any final reflections on the experience?
While reflecting on myself the week before the shoot, I came across an inspiring TED talk, “The Power of Vulnerability”, by a scientist who is investigating human connections. What she found out over the course of 12 years, by talking to hundreds and hundreds of people, was that those people who are embracing and accepting their own vulnerability, the people who are not afraid to put themselves out there despite the possibility of experiencing humility and rejection, are ultimately the ones who have developed more stable relationships and are happier overall.
Her talk really resonated with me which is why I absolutely encourage everyone to be true to themselves. Allow yourself to be vulnerable! That is part of being human. The “What I Be” project has definitely helped me in that sense.
Shanna Engelhardt, Junior, International comparative studies
What was the experience like working with Steve? Describe the conversation you had – how did you reach the specific vulnerability you shared?
I had about a week before my session with Steve and many different things came to mind but after a lot of reflection I came to realize that my troubles with communication and connections were at the root of most of the problems I felt that I had.
My conversation with Steve was then very fluid. He set up the session as he would normally by asking if there were any aspects of my personality/my life that I judged myself for or that I would feel judged for in general and I laid out my running thoughts. He began writing and after a little while we discussed how to visualise my ‘weakness’.
What was the most challenging part of the experience, and what was the most empowering?
I think it was the brainstorming beforehand. It is a very odd thing to really reflect on your own memories and personality in order to find a theme or a stem problem that you’d like to tackle. I found myself remembering very odd things that I hadn’t even realized affected my negatively at the time but that I now see as having been detrimental. The journey of that thought process was definitely difficult since personal introspection is not something I feel we tend to do often or at all.
The most empowering aspect of the experience was posting about my photo after the fact. Although, as I wrote, that was a very strange and slightly scary thing to do I felt a sense of release once I’d explained myself verbally and the support that I received afterwards was amazing.
Were you nervous to have the picture go public? Tell me about your emotions regarding this experience.
I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I would be because the insecurity that I had brought up was something that I had subconsciously reflected on over the past year so I did not feel like I was exposing something so new. Plus, the fact that others had been posting during the week made the experience feel less alien. I felt maybe a little bit worried about the reactions that I would get online and in person.
In the end though I was just happy that I had done it and that I finally was able to identify and explore something that had been bothering me.
What have the conversations been like afterwards? Have you spoken with your parents about your vulnerability, your roommates, random people, etc?
I have spoken to family about this, they all kind’ve asked what brought this on and I tried to explain the purpose of the project and the emotions that I’d had. For some reason it felt very matter-of-fact. I suppose the emotions of the photo went into the experience as opposed to the ‘aftermath’. For my family I just described what I had been feeling and how I felt that my post and my photo were a milestone and a sign of my moving forward with this problem, as opposed to remaining stagnant.
In terms of friends, I got a few texts and messages telling me that my message resonated with them and I really appreciated those small sentiments. Some people who saw me that day or the day after came up to me and just said that they’d liked my photo. Although those interactions were slight they still showed me how far one blast of social media can reach.
Honestly, I told most of these people that my purpose, while, yes, it was to show my own weakness and move past it, was to expose a weakness that maybe a lot of people have and to therefore be someone that people who are less willing to share their insecurities with their 1000+ Facebook friends (understandably) can relate to and learn with.
Describe the experience in one word.
Surprising.
Any final reflections on the experience?
I am glad that I took part in this experience and it helped me to realize that so many of the people around me have their own problems and their own experiences that I would like to know more about in order to grow as a person myself.
Upasana Chandra, Senior, Neuroscience
What was the experience like working with Steve? Describe the conversation you had – how did you reach the specific vulnerability you shared?
I usually don’t like talking about myself (especially about something so personal!), so for a couple of days leading up to the photo being taken, I was actually very nervous and I had even contemplated backing out of participating. However, I had eventually decided on the vulnerability I wanted to discuss, and so I walked into the room feeling prepared and ready.
Steve began our conversation by asking me to share the one insecurity about myself that I would be afraid of other people knowing – and this was when I realized that the one that I had picked for myself didn’t really fit this description. I decided to be as honest and blunt about myself as I could be, and the resulting talk that we had eventually led to the vulnerability depicted in my photo.
What was the most challenging part of the experience, and what was the most empowering?
I would say the most challenging part of the experience was coming to terms with my flaws and verbalizing them aloud for the first time. However, the most empowering part was having my insecurity validated. Part of why I decided to participate in the project was to share my story in the hopes that others going through similar struggles would feel less alone, and the responses I’ve gotten from my peers and friends have definitely contributed to this.
Were you nervous to have the picture go public? Tell me about your emotions regarding this experience.
Yes, I was incredibly nervous! The time leading up to the picture going public was nerve-wracking and a bit surreal – I don’t really use social media much, and I was worried about how my friends and relatives would react to seeing a post of this nature.
What have the conversations been like afterwards? Have you spoken with your parents about your vulnerability, your roommates, random people, etc?
Overall, I’ve been overwhelmed at how positive the conversations have been. Within hours of the picture going public, I ran into a friend of mine on campus who gave me the biggest hug and told me that they were dealing with something similar to me. Others have told me that they’re proud of me, a response I was not expecting at all – after all, one does not really think of their insecurities as a source of pride. It’s definitely made me realize how grateful I am for having so many understanding and supportive people in my life.
Describe the experience in one word.
Cathartic.