Cornell is the 5th most sexually active school in America, according to a new survey

This survey by College Stats sounds extremely accurate

They know us as the “Easy Ivy.” But that doesn’t mean we’re easy . . . right?

Using the ridiculously inaccurate research methodology of surveying 2000 college attendees, both past and current students, College Stats attempted a comparative analysis of how much sex college students have, based on their university affiliation. However, it is important to note that this “study” was not really a portrayal of sexual activity, as it is misleadingly titled, but rather gathers data mostly relating to number of sexual partners, as opposed to amount of sex actually had.

Coming in first place was Temple, at an average of 10.80 partners in college, for which the article cleverly poked fun at the irony of its conservative Baptist origins. (I’ll give credit where credit is due). In second place, with a full one and a half less partners, came Rutgers at an average 9.33 partners. Texas A&M and the University of South Carolina came in third and fourth respectively, with a little of eight partners each.

Then, in fifth place: Cornell at the lower average of 6.40 partners. (Urbana Champaign was a close contender, in sixth place with 6.30).

Ignoring the inaccuracies the are inherent in survey data with such a skewed studied population, what could cause the rampancy of Cornell’s sexual interactions?

A conversation with a few Cornellians shed some light on the matter. One girl, a transfer from Loyola Marymount in Los Angeles (a notorious party school) said: “You guys party so much more here than I did back home. And I thought I partied a lot there.” Another student, a sophomore engineer, observed (accurately): “It’s not like we can do anything else. Ithaca doesn’t have that much to do, and it’s too cold in the winter to do anything outside.”

It’s hard to say why, or if actually, Cornell has managed to achieve above average in this particular statistic. Whatever, I’m off to get laid.