Everything you have to explain when you say you’re from Greece

Whenever anyone asks me where I’m from, the quickest answer they’ll get is this: “I’m Greek but I’ve lived in Spain for the last five years.” Usually they’ll enquire further, and get the now-perfected bumper sticker version of my life: I was born in Athens, moved to New York when I was three, moved to Puerto Rico when I was six, moved back to Athens when I was seven, and then moved to Madrid when I was 13. I think most people can usually tell this is the ten-thousandth (literally) time that I’ve given this answer, and I’m not frustrated. It just seems normal to me.

And that’s why it’s so weird to have to talk about what it’s like to be Greek. Because I’m not. Let me (attempt to) explain. Even though both my parents are Greek, and I only have a Greek passport, I don’t feel like the average Greek person. I speak, at varying degrees of fluency, six languages. I’ve travelled to 26 countries, and lived in four (currently living in my fifth country). When I visit Greece, I feel both at home, and yet at times also a stranger in my own land. I’ve noticed a huge difference between the Greeks living outside of Greece and those living in Greece (most of the stereotypes you see in My Big Fat Greek Wedding are true). All that is mostly to try to explain where I’m from. Now, what is it like to be Greek?

Everyone thinks we’re poor

I can’t really blame anyone for thinking this, though it’s not true. Also, just because someone isn’t poor doesn’t mean they tax evade. My family and I were skiing in Switzerland over winter break once, and actually had a man in the gondola ask us how we could afford to go skiing in Switzerland. No, I’m not joking.

We have huge families

Ok, this is really more of a Southern European stereotype, but it’s mostly true. I actually have a very small family, because we don’t really interact with our distant relatives. However, half of Chicago is basically related to my dad because some of my grandmother’s relatives went to the U.S. through Ellis Island (which I find both sad and incredibly cool) and even though I’ve totally lost track of all of my distant cousins and uncles in Chicago, I’ve met a few and they’re super cool (also, they reinforce all stereotypes you knew about Greek-Americans).

My Big Fat Greek Wedding is our Bible

Sure, the Bible is our bible too (Greeks are usually super religious) but this is basically the only movie written by a Greek person about Greek people starring (mostly) Greek people that’s actually known outside of Greece. How cool is that? Plus, 95% of the things in that movie are true.

Greek food is Greek and so is Turkish food

I personally have nothing against the Turks. I can’t say the same about the other 10 million people in Greece. Tell my dad that Baclava is Turkish and you’ll get a half-hour long lecture on how the Turks were nomads and they couldn’t possibly have created Baclava because they had no ovens, and so on. And did you know that one of the cardinal sins is comparing kebab to souvlaki?

We’re really superstitious

As in, REALLY superstitious. My mum never cleans the tablecloth after dinner – it’s bad luck. A blue eye keeps the evil spirits away (you’ll frequently see these either as bracelets or on the wall). You always enter a new house with the right foot for good luck. Remember that scene in My Big Fat Greek Wedding where they were spitting on people? That’s to not jinx anything.

Most people have been to the Greek islands

The first reaction I get when someone hears I’m Greek is either a sort of “poor you for being so poor” or “I went to Greece last summer it was so great!” I once had someone show me their hand as proof they were just in Corfu. It took me a good five minutes to figure out they were showing me their tan…

I now notice that I spent quite a long time talking about what it’s like to be Greek, even though I started off by arguing I’m not. I guess next time I’ll have to talk about what it’s like to kind of be Spanish, even though I’m not. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll eventually find out where I’m from.