If the Clemson Tigers were your husband
We’ve all been thinking about it
Thank God we beat Alabama. Thank God the Gamecocks suck. Thank God for our boys.
With a National Championship title, a man’s attractiveness automatically increases. Currently, every man, woman, and child that is a Clemson fan, is ready to stop what they are doing and marry any man on the Clemson team.
We are here to prepare you guys for life with the best of the best. The man of your dreams: a Clemson football player.
So life with Deshaun will be tough. With his pin-point precision and always being so perfect, you will constantly be losing arguments because against Deshaun Watson, you will always be wrong. Get used to being the inferior in the relationship. Know to never initiate a food fight because with accuracy like his, you will have eggs in places you never wanted eggs. On the plus side, you will get the once in a lifetime opportunity to be the arm candy on the Leonardo DiCaprio of the football world. With Deshaun’s sweet smile and swaggy demeanor, you will always remember how lucky you are to be with such a stud.
Be careful with Ben. Ben likes to tackle, and he likes to tackle with the intent to drill you into the ground. You should be prepared to be his practice toy, be ready for surprise attacks. We have heard he’s a sweetie though so I am sure he will apologize if he ever hurts you.
Mike Williams catches everything. You cannot be that person who says “Fine” when you are angry and get away with it. He will know and he will make sure you do not get past him without explaining what is wrong. He is also really fast so be prepared for him to have quick comebacks to your jokes.
We heard Wayne likes to ride? He has a weird obsession with trains. He says it’s because he likes the way trains have one path and stick to it and get to their destination without any interruption. He said something about running over a Gamecock once.
Hunter Renfrow likes to win. If you are a sore loser, do not commit yourself to this relationship. He always seems to pull out the W and always knows the winning play. It’s okay though, he will comfort you with his Natty blanket that he won on January 9, 2017.
Life with a man is never easy. Hopefully this sneak peek into your future life will help you better understand what you are getting into. Just remember, not all men are snakes, some win National Championships.