A Colorado girl’s guide to surviving snow in the South

Watching you try to build a snowman is painful

I like snow as much as the next person. Perhaps more than the next person. Growing up in Colorado, I’ve developed a love/hate relationship with the snow that ultimately left me venturing across the country to escape it, among other reasons.

There were a lot of things I expected to be different in South Carolina, but perhaps one of the most comical differences I’ve witnessed is a Southerner’s reaction to a snowstorm. Here’s my advice for y’all who are a little winter challenged.

Don’t dress like you’re going to the North Pole

I promise you can dress for the snow. No, you don’t need a ski jacket to walk to the dining hall 250 feet away from you when it’s 30 degrees outside. I stood outside in the cold at the bus stop as a 3rd grader in chillier weather and I didn’t die. I didn’t even think to complain. Throw on your bean boots everyone loves so much with a few layers of fleece and a scarf and you’ll be golden.

Don’t buy milk and bread

I don’t care what the weather channel says or what your boyfriend’s mom’s best friend’s cousin says – the grocery stores will not run out of food and you don’t need to stock up on milk and bread to survive.¬†Turn the snow day into a clean-out-your-fridge day and figure out what you can make with the random contents, or eat some Easy Mac. Even when Lil C’s is closed – cue world ending – there’s always someone else’s food you can steal for two days.

You CAN drive in the snow

For the brave souls who need to get food/your boyfriend/your cat from somewhere and have to drive in the snow, you got this. Driving in the snow is as easy as this: go slow and start braking early. That’s it. Two things and you can navigate your way through the streets without causing an accident 100 feet away from your bed.

Chill with the social media

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Snow is a beautiful natural phenomenon, so take a picture to remind yourself of it’s beauty – not to see how many likes you can get out of it. Scrolling through my Instagram feed seeing picture after picture of girls throwing a half inch of snow in the air like they’re in a romantic comedy doesn’t make me think you’re original or hipster.

Sorry, roomie from North Carolina who doesn’t know any better. I think you look kind of ridiculous. And no, that beanie you borrowed from your northern friend for picture purposes does not make you look more authentic.

Don’t buy a sled

The best way to make a sled is to use a pizza box. It has sturdier cardboard than the cardboard from a regular box or case. There is no point in bringing a sled to the South because there will never be enough snow to properly sled. Watching you try to sled in less than two inches of snow with grass poking up is sadder than thinking you can build an actual snowman in it.

Again, don’t buy one for that Instagram post. Please. Unless you’re Dabo…then you do whatever you want.

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