Coffee is actually good for you, and whoever said coffee stunts your growth is a goddamn liar

For maximum results drink three to five cups a day

For several decades, most people have operated under the assumption that coffee is poison. Okay, maybe that’s a little extreme, but there are definitely people who warn against drinking it because it stains your teeth and supposedly it stunts your growth, which is false, by the way.

While there are risks to drinking coffee, mainly caused by the caffeine and high acidity, recent research has shown that the benefits of coffee outweigh the drawbacks. Coffee is so magical that it’s literally saving your life, so here are 10 diseases your coffee addiction is saving you from.

Heart disease

More and more studies are showing that coffee actually lowers the risk of heart disease significantly. The ideal amount of coffee for a lower risk of cardiovascular disease is three to five cups a day, so finals practically added five to ten years on all of our lives. The milk, sugar, caramel, whipped cream and everything else that often comes in a Starbucks cup would probably cancel it out though.

But we can't have black coffee every day

But we can’t have black coffee every day

Stroke

Similar to studies on heart disease, researchers have increasingly been finding a link between increased coffee consumption and lower chances of having a stroke. Even if you keep drinking past the ideal amount, two to six cups a day here, the positive effects barely lower.

Cancers

People often say that coffee gives you cancer. They’re wrong, it’s actually the opposite. A few studies have shown a link between coffee and different types of cancer, but so many more have shown the opposite. With each study confirming the previous, new research has shown that coffee drinkers have a lower risk of liver cancer by 40%. Due to its high levels of antioxidants (more than most fruits or vegetables), this makes sense. It apparently has no effect on prostate cancer and breast cancer, but under the broad umbrella of cancer, coffee is turning out to be a protector more than anything.

Parkinson’s disease

Very recent publications have shown an association between coffee drinkers and lower rates of Parkinson’s disease, but nothing is proven. Don’t get your hopes up, just keep drinking coffee in the meantime.

The more hipster the place, the better the coffee (probably?)

The more hipster the place, the better the coffee (probably?)

Type 2 diabetes

For this one, pretty much the more you drink, the better off you are. The lowest rates of type 2 diabetes are found in people who drink up to seven cups a day (even I don’t drink that much) and it has nothing to do with the caffeine. The same results were found from regular and decaf coffee, because the coffee by itself affects hormones involved in metabolism.

Alzheimers/dementia

Due to its effect on hormones and other chemicals in our body, coffee is now believed to slow the effects of aging, including degenerative diseases such as Alzheimers and Dementia. According to Time magazine, "coffee may slow down some of the metabolic processes that drive aging."

Gallstones

An Italian study suggested that drinking coffee may help prevent you from developing gallstones, which suck. The association was also found with wine, so alcohol helps you just as much, apparently.

Depression

Women who drink coffee are 20% less likely to suffer from depression. All coffee drinkers (men or women) are half as likely to commit suicide. it’s also just a hug in a beverage and is bound to make anyone with a soul smile.

Probably even healthier if you drink it from a bamboo cup

Probably even healthier if you drink it from a bamboo cup

Stupidity

While this debilitating disease seems to be affecting nearly everyone nowadays, it turns out there’s a cure. By blocking certain neurotransmitters, coffee can actually improve memory and general cognitive function. The same thing that keeps you awake, also makes you smarter.

Death

Ok, this one’s unavoidable, but coffee seems to be doing a pretty good job at postponing it. Maybe if we drink enough we’ll be able to live forever? Probably not but coffee is still linked with lower rates of premature death by all causes.

While most of these studies only show association and can’t actually prove anything, they’re coming pretty damn close. It’s starting to seem like coffee is just a panacea and can do no wrong. Coffee addicts everywhere, rejoice. The universe has given us a gift.

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