How to go on a big night out without ruining yourself before finals week

Because we all need to blow off some steam

The weeks before finals are jam-packed with homework, sadness, tears, unrequited sleep, and much more. Some people cope by binge-watching Netflix until the wee hours of the morning.

Others cope by going out and drinking themselves silly. If you’re one of the latter, check out this guide on how to stay healthy while doing so.

Drink, drink, drink your water!

good life advice in general

How many fun nights were prematurely ruined by the presence of vomit? Too many to count. That’s why, before finals, you have to spend days hydrating. Maybe years.

You should be drinking water anyway, it’s pretty important.

Make sure you look fab as hell

note the red lipstick

Why is this recommended? Red lipstick is fun. Wearing it is even more fun.

throw in a friend for extra fun

Who doesn’t love to be dressed to the nines when they’re about to get sloppy drunk?

That’s right. No one.

Don’t skimp on dinner

Maybe not this much food, though

Unless it’s really disgusting.

Actually, eat it either way. Feeling disgustingly drunk is worse than sub-par food.

Make sure you hit the road early

Especially if you’re at a pregame! Friends past have informed me that they took too long getting to their respective destinations, and everything was jam-packed by the time they arrived. This only adds more stress onto already present stress, which is a huge buzzkill. Don’t let that happen to you.

This one goes without saying, but…

Don’t forget your BUID

This really only applies to registers. Obsessively check your wallet/pockets for it just to make sure it hasn’t jumped out and away onto the sidewalk/couch/wherever you are.

If you lose it, you’re going to have to sit out in the cold outside your building and hope that a passerby can help you out. Unless it’s past 11 PM, then they can’t unless they live in your building.

Don’t drunk dial your shitty ex (and don’t let your friends do it, either!)

Friends don’t let friends drunk dial

Unless you’re just trying to have some angry sex because studying rage is real.

Maybe you should call them if they aren’t shitty, though. That’s really up to you.

Not calling exes = happiness

Don’t let the drinks speak to you. They most likely will make you call the shitty ex, and it’ll only be passable sex.
That rhymed unintentionally. Moving on.

Make sure to eat a snack when you get back

When are snacks not a good idea? The Flyson line is too long and full of debauchery. If you’re not feeling eating the leftover Goldfish in your room, then I highly recommend a milkshake from 7th. Sure, it’s cold as hell outside, but they’re still tasty and you’ll love it even more when you’re back in your room and snuggled under a blanket.

and finally…

Get your ass to bed

Snuggly

You’re going to have to wake up, likely when it’s still dark outside, to begin studying for finals. You don’t want to experience that on less than 7 hours of sleep, unless you tend to sleep less than 7 hours anyway. Go you.

Good luck with finals week, everyone!

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Bucknell University