The seven stages of grief: Finals edition

Let the worst week of our lives begin

For the past three months, finals week was just a dark cloud looming over our heads. Well, doomsday has arrived and it’s time to compensate for those bad grades we got this semester by kicking ass on the final exam.

That may not seem realistic, so like any other travesty in our lives, we go through the seven stages of grief.

Denial

You’ll tell yourself you simply have all the time in the world and don’t need to study days in advance. You’ll do the Allston crawl a few times or maybe even binge watch four seasons of The Office. You might even clean your room or if you’re in severe denial, you’ll go to the gym — anything is better than studying.

Pain and guilt

You’ll finally realize how much work you have and face the fact that you haven’t gotten out of bed. It won’t be enough guilt to actually get you to leave your room and go to Mugar, but you’ll definitely feel like you should.

Anger and bargaining

You’ll get mad at BU as an overall institution. This will make you reevaluate your decision to enroll in college and put yourself through this hell. You’ll question your professors for assigning a midterm on the last day of classes, five days before your final, because who is cruel enough to do that? You’ll check your blackboard grade for the first time all semester and immediately beg your teachers to show some mercy.

“Please, give me a chance. I’ll write an extra credit paper or make a PowerPoint if you bump up my grade!” No you won’t. I promise you don’t have time for that.

Depression and loneliness

You’ll convince yourself that you’re the only person drowning in this oblivion we call finals. You’ll lock yourself in your room and even stop answering your mom’s calls. You tell yourself there’s no way you’re going to get all of this work done and should just give up and quit school now. It’s easier to just Greyhound it home anyway.

The upward turn

Then one moment, when you least expect it, you’ll have a glimmer of hope. Maybe it’s from listening to one of Leslie Knope’s inspirational speeches, or even from watching the Shia LaBeouf video too many times.

More likely, it’s from realizing you can’t fail in life and will have to stop living off of your allowance at some point. You’ll make your first step towards progress by turning off Netflix.

Reconstruction and working through

You’ll greet Mugar with semi-open arms because it’s about to be your home for the next few days. Your backpack will feel like it’s holding cement blocks and you may even (definitely will) fall asleep a few times at the cubicle. The only perk of moving into Mugar for a week is the close proximity to Cheeseology — the light at the end of the darkest, longest tunnel.

Acceptance and hope (if you’re lucky)

Judgement day has arrived. It’s time for your first final. You’ll convince yourself that you’re more than ready and that you’ll screw up the curve for everyone else by getting a 100. By the second or third final, you’ll probably stop caring as much, but once that last one is over you’ll run as fast as you can out of that exam room. You bid Boston farewell and start your forever-coveted winter break, dreading the day you get your test scores back.

Naturally, winter break will go by faster than you expect and you’ll be back to square one before your know it. But the first day of your new classes will make fall finals a distant memory.

More
BU