Your survival guide to the Allston crawl

Don’t be the one to make a party foul

You’ve been at BU for a couple weeks now and things are already exciting. This weekend was the first official time for partying and I get it, you’re feeling overwhelmed, possibly humiliated with yourself, but you made it and The Tab would like to congratulate you.

We know the first Allston Crawl is always the worst. Walking down the street while men catcall you in the heels that are ripping your feet open is not always a liberating experience, but I’m here to help you ladies. The Allston Crawl may seem like a lonely and terrifying experience but here’s the catch: it gets better. 

Step One: Don’t dress to impress

Frat parties are hotter than the ninth circle of Hell. Your makeup will melt off your face within five minutes of getting there, so stick to concealer and some waterproof mascara. When you put on your outfit, wear lighter colors or black if you want to avoid back-sweat, boob-sweat, and sweat in places you didn’t even know you could see sweat. I promise, the frat boys will not care what your appearance is after five minutes of arriving. Plus, everybody else’s fierce party outfits will be soaked while yours is still in tact.

Step Two: Pick a pair of shoes you can handle the entire night

Ladies, let us pray. Pray to all the greats: Louis Vuitton, Manolo Blanc, Stuart Weitzman etc. I vow that whatever shoes I place on my feet will stay on my feet the entire night through. Let us remember what Allston really is. It’s nicknamed “Rat City” after all, so do not remove your shoes on your walk back to your dorm. I do not care if you are wearing seven inch stilettos and the skin on your feet is peeling off more and more with each step. You will take a deep breath and continue your walk in pain because you love your feet and do not want them infected by rat feces.

Also, opting to wear a pair of dirty converse is never be frowned upon. My converse are my frat-shoes. Drinks will be spilled, your feet will be stepped on, and oh yeah, every frat is pitch-black anyways so wear whatever you want on your feet as long as you wear them all night long.

Step Three: Know where you’re going before you go out

Having a plan is key for a successful night out. Don’t just expect to venture out onto the streets and bang on the door that’s playing your favorite Chainsmokers song the loudest. That’s not a smart move; that’s a recipe for getting lost and ending up in a sketchy place that’s potentially dangerous. Contact somebody and have a set address that you can pop into Google Maps before you head out. Walking without a purpose in Allston is never a smart decision, and BU has a lot of students, so most places tend to be “over capacity” if you don’t know someone there. 

Step Four: Do not drink the jungle juice

I don’t care how pretty it looks; it’s probably toxic. Every kind of beverage that shouldn’t be mixed together is mixed in that vat of waste. Plus, you never know how your body is going to react to it. Aside from that, the vat is open to the party all night and you don’t know what’s been added as the night goes on (this includes bodily fluids).

It’s best to stay away from the juice if you want to end your night in a bed rather than a bathroom. People’s hands are in it all night scooping up cups of it anyway, and trust me, you don’t want to know where those hands have been. Jungle juice is repulsive and you want to have a fun night out instead of contracting something from mystery punch. If you choose to party before the party, I’d say that’s a really smart idea.

Step Five: If you go out with a girl squad, you leave with a girl squad

It’s a GNO, and when you leave your dorm you gals are hand and hand ready to face whatever the night has in store. But when you get to wherever you’re going that doesn’t always seem to be the case, does it? One of your girlfriends finds some people from her Sociology class, your other friend is flirting with one of the frat brothers, and you’re dancing on the table because you’re a badass who doesn’t give a fuck.

It’s nearing two in the morning and you’re ready to get back to your bed and out of your frat covered clothes, so what do you do? You find each and every gal you arrived to the party with.

Nobody gets left behind. Ohana means family and family means nobody gets left behind; come on, didn’t Lilo and Stitch teach us anything. Make your way through the house until you’ve rounded up the entirety of you. Only then can your crawl back to campus begin. And what a glorious crawl that will be when you’re all together, laughing at the stories from your successful night out in Allston.

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