Why Providence is the worst city in Rhode Island, America and probably the world

It really sucks but it’s gonna suck even more when winter comes

Being the smallest state in the country must suck. But you know what is worse than that? Being the capital of that tiny state. I’m sure many people don’t even know what or where Providence is.

Here are some fun facts about Providence. Home of the New England Mafia, cops here used to run a massive coke ring but they got busted, some would say that the City Council of Providence has the collective ethics of a pit viper. That does not sound so good – fights always break out at church-organized celebrations, but it is home to the glorious Brown University and a bunch of academically inferior schools. Except for RISD, because can you actually measure art by grading it? (That’s a whole other debate).

Whiskey Republic, Providence

Whiskey Republic, Providence

I don’t know how anyone above 22 years old can live and enjoy Providence. What is there to do? Well, I want to say sightseeing but there is not much to see, especially if you’re planning to spend more than a weekend here. So most people here would recommend you to get drunk, eat, or probably to do drugs.

This place is so boring that people get high all the time to balance out the lows. That's why Rhode Island has one of the highest illicit drug use rates in the country, another fun fact. We are talking about the whole country, people! President Trump said he has never done drugs – sounds like fake news to me – but the whole country is hooked on them.

And our little state, Rhode Island, takes the fifth place in 50 states. How is that possible? Most importantly, why? Because this place pushes you to do drugs. Well at least there is one thing we are good at besides taking third place in alcohol poisoning death rate. Good for us!

Who wants to live or even visit Providence? If you're a married couple looking to have a weekend getaway, would you come to Providence? If your answer is most definitely yes, please take a map and start exploring my friend, because there are hundreds of better vacation places you’ll find.

The people who willingly come to Providence are my fellow students. They are merely compelled by the temptation of the Ivy League school and the top-notch art-school that are located here. Surely the academics and the myriad of opportunities that these schools can offer sounds tempting, but what if you are located in a shitty city with not much to offer? The reason why Providence is seen as OK by students is that it has Brown in it. Thank God! What if it didn’t, would you come here? Have you ever thought of that? Probably not.

Home sweet home

Home sweet home

Honestly, being a 21-year-old college student is not the worst thing ever because being a college graduate and living in Providence is definitely worse. As an irresponsible college student you can get high, skip class and watch Netflix all day or you can drink yourself into thinking that you are having fun. Not being aware of the fact that you are in a 200-square-feet dorm room with sweaty frat guys drinking $10 vodka straight out of the bottle sure does make some nights better. Even if you go out, it is guaranteed that you will be surrounded by twerking teenagers and you won’t enjoy it unless you are blinded by alcohol. People actually get pissed at their friends for being more drunk than them – I guess everything in life is a competition.

On top of all of these, it is super cold here six months a year, so nobody wants to leave their houses except for the college students who are eager to get drunk.

This makes me wonder if anyone has ever been sad to leave this place? I’m sorry if you live here. Please don’t get offended, I live here too!

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Brown University