Signs your parents are having a hard time letting go when you go to college
My mom started sending me links about how to make friends
Anyone with parents who worry too much will relate to the feeling of relief and excitement when they finally get to go to college and make their own decisions. Brown is especially great for that because of the open curriculum, ability to create your own concentration and the extremely liberal vibe in general.
However, if your parents are of the true worrying kind – as mine are – leaving home did not mean leaving the nest, it meant relocating it. If that’s you, these situations may sound very familiar.
They demand to speak to you everyday and if you’re not available, be prepared for war
They want to know exactly who you went out with last night – as if they will know them
Me: Josh, Kira and Phil.
Me: *searches for full profile online for each friend, complete with student and police records*
They use FaceTime as an opportunity to speculate on your physical and mental health
They inspect for freshman 15 weight gain, strange skin conditions or eyes that are too red to be excused by ‘fatigue.’
And if you have put on that freshman 15, you can count on them to use the Brown nanny service to send you Skinny Popcorn, apples, diet bars and other delicious treats – like kale – for your birthday. YUM.
They’ll also use the nanny service to send you breakfast in bed on your birthday and roses on Valentines Day
It’s good to be loved…
They often send you little reminders of how much they miss you
…which always turn into requests
They’re still blaming you for your little sibling’s manners
…and a comment on your own presentation usually follows
You’re constantly having to explain why you’re still awake at 2am
And it’s always the same conversation. Better learn how to turn off that “last seen” on Whatsapp now, internationals.
Your parent are always suspicious you may be becoming a pothead
They’re so convinced after you admitted to trying it once that you end up having to swear by your faith that you are LITERALLY CARVING PUMPKINS ON HALLOWEEN SOBER—yes, it happens.
But they still insist on imparting drug-related wisdom
And they make you take a drug test. If you fail, you’re dragged back home…and you humor them #turningTwentyButYaKnow
Your parent starts sending you links about how to make friends
If you don’t answer their texts within the minute, they get frantic
You are regularly made to feel like you are two-years oldYou are unexpectedly and unintentionally insulted
But it’s cool because your parent totally makes it up to you by spoiling you
But after all that’s said and done, it’s not so bad
When your parent finally trusts you to make your own decision on something, making that decision feels that much better because you know how hard it was for them to let go.