An ode to my unassigned-assigned seat
There’s a reason why unassigned and assigned both have ass in them…
It may not be on the syllabus, but this seat is mine.
Last semester, in my America and the World lecture, in the always-lovely Devlin 008, I will admit that I speed-dated with a few of the seats. The back of the room was a pain when I had to hand in my papers.The middle wasn’t good for my fire safety or when the BC Plague and Noro came for visits.
Then, finally, my studious friend showed me that a seat in the first row had everything that I was looking for. I realized I had found my better half.
Quick Escape
Motion shot as I scurry off to Eagle’s
We all know how bad the lines at Eagle’s can get and after a 12 pm lecture – we all just want a little salad love from Maria. Sitting in the front allowed me to be the first one out of the lecture and 30th on line instead of 65th.
I cannot see the clock without breaking my neck
I am the kind of student who watches the clock to the point in which you would think I was going to ask it out to dinner. When I don’t know the time, it makes it harder for me to wonder how I’ve taken four pages of notes in 15 minutes. Harder, but not impossible.
Holy leg room
The front row is prime leg room seating. I sometimes just stretch my legs out all of the way just because I can. I’m 5’11,” so this seat is a real peach.
Prime viewing of the late kids
The front two rows used to be a place where kids might sit if they walked in five minutes late and didn’t want to make a scene. I can smell their fear when they realize that they have to go somewhere else further up. Is it evil? Yes. But I don’t feel badly for the repeat offenders, and they’re mostly repeat offenders.
And to the person who stole my seat this semester:
I don’t know what got into your cereal that morning, but I have been sitting in that seat since the third week of September. Did you plot to make sure that I would be late to get my salad? Did I give you the BC lookaway without realizing? I’m not bitter or anything, so I got you a gift.
A gift for you, seat stealer.
Seat 6 in Devlin 008, you’re the best. Until we meet again.