A comprehensive guide to why Boston College is better than Notre Dame

Whether we win or lose tonight, we need to consider all other aspects of of BC and ND that make this rivalry a Holy War.

No matter what goes down at Fenway, we need to decide which school really comes out on top. 

Location

Boston College in Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts 

BC is truly situated in the perfect location, with a beautiful and quiet campus on the outskirts of a great city. We have our namesake T stop. Art classes send students to the MFA and history classes send students graves of founding fathers. We’ve got every type of cuisine and store just a short train ride away. We’ve even got Tom Brady and his balls.

Notre Dame in South Bend, Indiana

If you search “South Bend,” Google will give you results showing “isolation.” Subways and traffic are foreign concepts. The most exotic food is Chipotle. The nearest oceanfront is hundred of miles way, and skyscrapers are nowhere to be found. 

Boston College

Sports fans

BC

We are called Superfans, after all. We bleed maroon and gold on game day. Face tattoos are our lifestyle. We always want more points, and we have no trouble telling the other hockey goalie how much they suck.

ND

The biggest problem with their fan base is the numbers of fans who didn’t actually go there. It is easy to find people in a Fighting Irish hat, but chances are they didn’t actually go there. They are just hopping on the bandwagon.

Mascot

Eagles

Nothing sums this up quite better than the tagline ‘Merica. Our mascot can literally fly over the competition. Loving Eagles is basically what being a good American entails. 

Fighting Irish

Notre Dame is a French cathedral, so the transition to a little red-headed Leprechaun mascot is in question.

Notable alumni

BC

We obviously have to start with Amy Poehler. One of the biggest comedic geniuses on Earth can’t be ignored. The world would be a sad place without Parks and Rec for us to binge watch on Netflix. The current Secretary of State and the mayor of Boston are important additions to the list. McVet of Grey’s Anatomy is played by none other than alum Chris O’Donnell. And we’ve got Clinton Kelly telling us What Not to Wear.

ND

We can attribute our unrealistic expectations in love to alum Nicholas Sparks. Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice may have gone to ND, but she pledges her allegiance to Stanford. The most famous alum is former talk show host Regis Philbin, who we haven’t heard about in years.

Nightlife

BC

The mods are our go-to and our main backup plan. Their (back)doors are open, especially after midnight when they have run out of everything. Once in, the endless, sweaty and simultaneously gross but fun dance parties begin. If on campus stuff is a bust, clubs in Boston are there. Shoutout to MA’s, Cityside, TITS, Garage, and many others (#ripArc) for fueling us from Thursday to Sunday.

And let’s not forget about strip mod. 

ND

While we have the mods, Notre Dame has same-sex dorms. 29 of them, in fact. And a curfew. When the RAs come around to enforce parietals, anyone with someone of the opposite sex in their room gets written up. The worst that happens at BC is our Rubi is taken away. 

Additionally, guys at Notre Dame have to go across the street to St. Mary’s to Netflix and chill. Oh wait, they can’t Netflix and chill because they have parietals.

On Thursday nights, everyone goes to “Club Fever.” Feve’s tag line is “Michianna’s hottest night club” – a title it can only claim because there are no nightclubs in South Bend.

Service programs

BC

Service programs are in such high demand we literally have to apply. That’s how giving we are. 4Boston would not make sense anywhere else, and we’ve got Appa over spring break and  international trips like Arrupe and Jamaica Mustard Seeds.

ND

4SouthBend? Doesn’t exist. The best service opportunity may be helping athletes in class. 

Overall winner

The Eagles fly high above the Irish, across all categories. We’ll see who settles the Holy War tonight at Fenway.