We interviewed a BC professor who thinks students lack resilience

‘At what point do psychological problems become worse because of the fact that they’re legitimized?’

If we only played outside more, and spent less time with our parents, we’d have the resilience we’re currently lacking.

At least, this is what a former BC professor, Peter Gray, says.

Gray retired early from teaching at BC and now mainly does his research from home. After reading an article published in Psychology Today, The Tab reached out to Gray for a deeper conversation about his outspoken views on student resilience—or lack thereof.

Gray was quick to note that his findings are not based solely on his own experience at Boston College, though many experiences from his time at BC informed his work.

He said: “The heads of counseling services throughout the country report increases in the number of students making use of their services, and often for problems that are normal problems of college life.”

Gray cited a study from a few years ago that evaluated hundreds of colleges, all of different calibers. The study concluded these problems are national and “not just the elite schools or state schools – [it] doesn’t seem to relate to income levels.”

So, what exactly does he say is our problem?

Gray said current students have “less ability to bounce back from emotional responses and more tendencies to seek counseling services for emotional help, rather than attempt to solve it alone.”

He added: “In the past, usual expectations [were to] solve them themselves or with friends, but instead there’s an increased number of people experiencing strong emotion about the problem.

“And then their emotion becomes the problem: the anxiety, the fear, the depression that is triggered by what the problem is – whether that’s a bad grade, not being able to get along with a roommate, a breakup or whatever it is.”

So, we’re weak. We lack resilience. Gray states in the past we would’ve solved these “normal problems” on our own or with our friends, rather than seeking out a counselor.

“These problems do cause emotion,” Gray said.

Though these responses are not necessarily new in and of themselves, our inability to deal with these problems apparently is.

Yet this emotional weakness isn’t necessarily our fault. Gray said there has been “dramatic change over recent decades over how young people grow up.”

Schooling and home have now become entwined. Gray said it’s “pretty outrageous” that this problem is moving up to the college level. He added it is “not terribly common,” but parents sometimes call a professor on behalf of their child.

Professor Peter Gray discusses the lack of resilience of students in his book, Free to Learn

He added: “The feeling that students are so emotionally vulnerable is affecting some schools – what’s happening in the classroom.”

For example, there has been a big increase in the number of students failing to meet deadlines, or needing more assistance—and expecting more assistance—for challenging exams and low grades.

Additionally, “Part of the problem is, in addition to decline in resilience, there’s an increased number of students coming to college with diagnosed mental disorders of anxiety, depression, drugs for these illnesses – so the number of students coming to college with clinical record of needing care.”

One challenge Gray identified is understanding how serious students are being when they say they need help. He gives this extreme example: “Breaking up with your boyfriend is something that happens to almost everyone at some point. It’s hard. It’s very hard. But, if they say they’re suicidal –  you can’t ignore that.”

He added: “If you have a psychological problem, we want you to be able to seek help and de-stigmatize it. But on the other hand, at what point do psychological problems become worse because of the fact that they’re legitimized?

So as students, how do we deal with this? According to Gray, professors are afraid to give us diagnoses, counseling can’t keep up with our needs, and classrooms around the country are starting to put trigger warnings in place because of our emotional fragility.

This may be true. But, BC students have been working hard to de-stigmatize mental health challenges on campus. Gray doesn’t know the answer to whether or not we should continue placing so much emphasis on de-stigmatizing initiatives.

“If you are overwhelmed with anxiety or feeling suicidal you should of course go talk to a counselor. You should not feel stigmatized to the point in which you wouldn’t do that,” Gray assures.

Gray’s short-term solution for students is to “think rationally.” He added: “The best response [is to] try to turn a problem on the psychological feelings and towards a focus on the practical problem.

“In other words, since there’s a tendency on the part of some students to have an emotional breakdown, reinforce the student’s capacity for problem-solving.”

In addition to breaking down the problem so we can “get down to the real world,” as Gray said, he advises us to “get involved in adventures not that you may not have been able to.” He says we should travel, take adventures, and do things that are risky that your parents may not have let you do earlier but can’t legally stop you from doing now. If you can afford it, he says, go to Europe and survive on a few dollars a day.

How to effectively adventure in order to improve your mental health and emotional toughness is “different for everyone,” he says. Whatever it means for you – he encourages us to “realize that you can experience fear and know you’re tougher than maybe you thought you were.”

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