Young ladies of the SEC, keep doing you

A response to HuffPo’s ‘Young ladies of the SEC, cover it up!’

Dear you ladies of the SEC, wear whatever you want.

Reading the article “Young ladies of the SEC, cover it up!” by Rebecca Walden (which was later taken down), I was bewildered.

As an Auburn student now, I know how exciting the tradition of dressing up for football games is. Shopping for cute game day outfits at Charming Oaks and Behind the Glass is a fun part of the tradition. Pulling ourselves together Saturday morning and getting ready on game day is just part of the tradition.

Rebecca, you had one thing right. We make sure to dress cute only to impress the frat guys that probably won’t even remember what color we were wearing and love spending money on outfits so that we can get approval from guys. It’d never be for a dumb reason like, I don’t know, we personally like how we look? Oh and sometimes we even like to cheer for the Tigers and watch the game, too.

“What we didn’t want, and what we never did, was to show up for a college football game looking like we belonged in a Victoria’s Secret fashion show.”

As you pointed out, one of the hottest trends this season is outfits inspired by the Victoria’s Secret fashion show. This look is simply a lacy bra and underwear with angel wings. This must be paired with a nice set of six-inch stiletto heels, the only practical shoe to wear on game day.

Some people believe that this look should be completed with a scarf, but this is incorrect. It is 100 degrees outside and every stitch of clothing is one too many. One of the best ways to look irresistible is to let your bra straps show. This will make any guy want you because when they are hidden, they forget girls have breasts.

“I wondered if your mother knew what you were wearing.”

Unfortunately, my parents hate my guts and don’t talk to me for wearing the cute dresses they buy me.

I wanted to tell you that even though I said before that I was doing this for the cute frat boys, you probably shouldn’t because that means they are shallow and so are you.

I wished you understood that my main intention of the way I dress is to be perceived as “fun and flirty.”

“Most of all, I hoped you would soon wake up to embrace the ethos shared by higher learning institutions everywhere – class.”

Most of all, I hoped you would realize that we came to Auburn to wear “tasteless” clothes on game day, not to do this thing you call “learning.” We don’t actually go to class. We skip all of our classes to pick out our scandalous game day outfits. We simply don’t have time to be well-rounded women, silly.

That shaker tucked in my “trend boot?”

The cute Auburn logo on my cheek?

The Greek letters (or lack thereof) on my game day button attached to my lacy bra?

All even more noticeable due to the fact that I don’t wear clothes to the game! Does school spirit mean nothing to you, Miss Walden?

“Families attend these games. Little eyes are watching you. On behalf of them, and the rest of us who feel embarrassed for you as you walk by, stop baring almost all in the name of game day fashion.”

In talking with friends at other SEC schools, it’s clear that the Victoria’s Secret no clothes look is sweeping the nation.

This is a college campus, made up of college-aged men and “young ladies” so that means we, of course, change our entire lifestyle to please the families that visit on game day. We love to have fashion shows of all of our Victoria’s Secret Runway looks in front of the stadium for all of the small children to see.

“So by all means, be creative. Don your most debonair collegiate colors ensemble. Heck, try to sneak in a flask or two (this is college, after all). Be young and fun and carefree. But please, leave the club clothes at home.”

At the end of the day we just really love to bare almost all on game day because we want to offend the families visiting.

Thanks for the advice about trying to sneak in a flask or two, I guess that’s why you were so many layers of clothing to games.

Don’t worry we will “be young and fun and carefree” because we won’t die of a heatstroke in the stands.

It’s true, the stadium is basically a club to us these days. I think we might just quit the whole football thing, blast some music and replace the turf with a dance floor.

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