The Sun Devils bring hell to the ‘Impairolympics’

Students were allowed to see how they would fare in a drunk-goggle sobriety test

The "Impairolympics" took place Wednesday night in the Downtown Phoenix Civic Space Park, put on by the ASU Programming and Activities Board (PAB). The contest was a series of challenges and events for teams to complete…while imitating the feeling of a 0.15 blood alcohol content (BAC). Participants came in teams of five or six to compete.

The teams participating in the games.

The teams participating in the games.

Participants came in teams of five or six to compete and also had a few interesting names. I particularly appreciated Team NaCl, which is the chemical formula for salt. The Meme Team is also a real heart warmer.

To stimulate the vision and depth awareness side-effects of a BAC double the legal driving limit, the PAB came equipped with several pairs of drunk-goggles. The kaleidoscope lenses warp the wearer's sense of depth and distance as though they were severely intoxicated.

"We really want to promote alcohol awareness," Michelle Castro, ASU senior and Live Entertainment Assistant for the PAB said. "Especially with Halloween coming up, we want everyone to be safe."

The Impairolympics started off with a tipsy relay, where each team member needed to zigzag through a line of cones while holding a tennis ball between their knees. At the end of the line, the member must throw the ball into their bucket. Whichever team got the most balls in their bucket won. I believe the winning score was one ball.

Other events included Drunk Operation, a code cracking game, and a spinning arm that contestants had to alternate jumping over and ducking under.

Please enjoy some of the limited footage where I managed to not let my laughter shake the camera. Copyright laws won't let us set the video to music, but I like to watch it muted and imagine "The Sound of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel playing. Really raises the drama.

I suppose I thought the Sun Devils would be a bit lighter on their feet, given that they probably match the goggles' BAC of 0.15 three times a week anyway. But, the video doesn't lie. The Sun Devils were really looking like hell out there.

I also had to wonder, knowing my fellow Devils, if anyone had pre-gamed the Impairolympics. Theorizing that they came with the gross intoxication level of a 0.15 BAC, then put on the goggles, I bet you one of these troopers was rocking a 0.3 BAC. Gnarly.

Now don't panic, there were some serious parts of this event. Before the games kicked off, Officer Drain from the ASU Police Department spoke briefly about alcohol safety.

Officer Drain said it is important to realize that in Arizona, you do not need to have a BAC of 0.08 to be arrested for drunk driving. It depends largely on the drinker's ability to metabolize alcohol.

If a BAC of 0.05 has someone staggering down the sidewalk, that could warrant an arrest, despite not reaching the legal limit. Likewise, someone with a high tolerance may pass a sobriety test even if they are well over the legal limit. It is important to understand how your body works before you start drinking. Regardless, don't drink and drive; it is never better than taking an Uber or Lyft.

Students were allowed to see how they would fare in a drunk-goggle sobriety test. *Spoiler alert: not well*

Let's round this up with a group picture of The Meme Team rocking their color coordinated outfits. Bonus points to the guy second from the left for wearing a Deadpool shirt. I hope he was giving it MAXIMUM EFFORT.

Stay safe Devils, and remember, if you look like the kids in the video, please don't even think about operating a vehicle. Don't even think at all. Just go to bed. Please.

The Meme Team

The Meme Team

Arizona State University