Why you shouldn’t worry about texting guys first

Take the initiative for a change

Scenario: Boy’s phone buzzes after midnight with a text reading “hey you’re cute” or “what are you doing later?”  This is due to a series of unfortunate events; girl has one drink too many and suddenly liquid courage is her new comrade for the rest of the early morning and she’s made the mistake of texting first.

From my experience, I have heard this story more times than my fingers can count. So I come to question, why do we feel that we cannot send these texts while sober?  Is it because we can easily put it down to being wasted?  Or because as women, it has been branded to our mentalities that we should not text the boy first?

Women have been through a lot in the last 100 years. We’ve gone from being housewives and not having the right to vote, to running for president of a major political party.  And now, in 2016, when independent women have become engineers, pilots and politicians, some still can’t uncover the boldness and courage within themselves to send a boy a text first.

What’s the worst that could happen

I live with a roommate who often goes days without texting a boy she likes and even though it may become frustrating not to talk to him, she’ll never agree to initiate a conversation.  Her stubborn debate always is, “He’s the boy, and he is supposed to text the girl first.”  And while being proud and old-fashioned is okay to most, how is it alright to scowl at your empty message app when it is as easy to send a message as it is to receive it?

As much as I disagree with that argument, I can recognize that there are circumstances where women don’t text men first because rejection, quite frankly, sucks.  I have tried time and again to convince one of my closest friends to neglect the second guessing and message a guy first but when she says no, she renders that the rejection puts a toll on the rest of her day.  It is said that when a man doesn’t respond to a woman’s message, their instant thoughts range from “what did I do wrong?” to “I am never putting myself out there again.”  What a preposterous idea that is when it is never taken into consideration that men often times endure these exact series of events as well.  How is it safe to assume men never feel rejected either?

The way I see it is quite simple. When we treat life situations as games, life will play us on every level.  So for those who say “I’m going to wait one hour to respond,” “Since I texted him today, I am going to wait until he texts me tomorrow” or “Even though I am interested, I’m going to play that I am uninterested and not text him,” well, quit playing.

We all hear it; “life is short” well, if it really is then why do people still play on repeated levels?  Have you ever thought “maybe if I text the guy first, he will think I am confident and won’t reject me?”

I know I am no Nicole Wallace or Oprah Winfrey, but Carpe Diem ladies!

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