An honest packing list for this year at UA

We all know school is unfortunately right around the corner. Honestly, we all dread it just as much as we love it. You get to come back and be with all of your friends who have been doing fun things like cooking classes in Italy and drinking their sorrows away in Deutschland. Truthfully, I’m the most excited for the study abroad snaps, Instas and Facebook posts to end so I don’t feel like I’m not going places in life.

As school comes closer and closer to fruition, so too does the dreaded packing. So instead of packing your entire wardrobe and room into your little vehicle, here is a list of things you must have in order to have a successful semester here at UA.

Your mom

We all know we need her to come with us so the baskets and baskets of clothes she so graciously folded for you don’t lay on your floor all semester long. What’s a closet?

Plus she’s always great for emotional support and hey, maybe you’ll get a free meal at Five, Chucks, or even McDonald’s if you’re lucky.

Your dad

He’s needed for the heavy lifting and to get your mom out of your hair as soon as possible so you can go get yellow hammered as soon as they leave. Also fun bonus: he knows how to hang the things you probably would’ve just used tape to put up.

Sheets

They don’t have to be clean – we all know the boys don’t wash their sheets the entire semester. But we do need them. You say you’re not going to nap this semester, but let’s be honest, you’re already planning your next nap. Sheets are a necessity for a successful nap.

Tide pen or bleach

Simply because you’re going to need to get the comeback sauce from Jack’s off of your already-not-so-clean sheets. Also, good for if you have a dog that has no regard for personal hygiene.

ADDED BONUS: You never know when you’re finally going to snap on your roommates for not doing their dishes. All those Criminal Minds episodes might come in handy. You see where I’m going with this.

Groceries

You can only eat Taco Bell so many times a week/day. Be sure to get some lettuce or the Freshmen 15 will develop into 30 and then 45 and so on and so forth. Trust me, it’s a thing.

We all know you’re going to get the late night munchies immediately after you get settled in, so just do yourself a favor and get some doughnuts and cookies (or granola bars if you’re one of those health freaks).

I guess school supplies?

Somewhere along the way, you’re going to have to go to class. You don’t want to be that guy who asks for a pen the very first day of class. Like, we get it, you don’t care about your future.

While you’re getting your pens and pencils, grab a notebook, too, because there is always one professor that takes the first day way too seriously and actually starts teaching. How dare they. We aren’t here to learn!

Absurd clothes

You will absolutely be forced to go to a neon party at some point. We all hate them, but for some reason we keep having them. Themed parties are always going to be around, so have a nice little costume shop in the back of your closet.

A good attitude

I don’t want to talk to you if you’re miserable all the time. We all miss our mom and our dogs, but this is adulthood. You won’t have your mom or little Rosco by your side at all times, so just go get a new little Rosco at the local animal shelter. Your roommates will most definitely not despise you and the little vermin you brought into the house.

True life: This is the easiest thing to do to make your semester great. Come in with an outstanding attitude and you’ll be set.

All things health

Advil is your friend. As are bandaids, Neosporin, condoms and Pedialyte.

Literally stock your pantry with oodles of that last one. It is your savior when you’re too hungover to function. It tastes terrible and is very thick, but just do it. It’s better than pulling the trigger before your 8am.

Lastly, money

You’re going to need a lot of this for things like books, alcohol, food (Chipotle), alcohol, covers and liquor. I would say get a job, but that is so not fetch.

If you’re really hurting for change, there is always Plato’s Closet and Gamestop/Moviestop. Plato’s Closet is always buying clothes because, let’s be honest, you for sure brought your entire closet from home. Your distant relative has also given you a terrible sweater or two somewhere along the way, and thrift stores all around the world thrive on these terrible sweaters.

If you have all of these things, your semester will go perfectly. The golden rule, or at least what my dad always told me: go to class and wash your ass.