Learn from these cautionary tales of freshmen who got it really wrong in their first year

When you start college as a freshman, you think about how to fit in just as much as how to not make a complete ass of yourself. That's understandable: if you get it wrong, you'll never be made to forget it. After all, how many upperclassmen can remember that freshman who got so drunk one time he vomited on a professor? Read this list of the times freshmen fucked up extremely hard and learn from their mistakes.

That UConn freshman who got hammered and assaulted cafe staff asking for bacon jalapeño mac and cheese

In the time span of nine minutes, a young UConn freshman named Luke Gatti managed to utterly embarrass himself and become arrested after walking into the school’s union food court belligerently drunk and carrying a bottle of alcohol. He demanded to be served bacon jalapeño mac and cheese, an order that he continued to shout through the cafeteria shortly before the police arrived. After the manager attempted to reason with Gatti, and after Gatti called him a "fag", a "loser", a "tool", an "idiot" and a "fucking joke," it ended after Gatti moved on the manager – the police turned up, cuffed him, and took him away. His final words? “Fuck, I am absolutely fucked. Fuck, let me get my shoes! What the fuck happened to my shoes?”

See also:

Those Harvard freshmen who shared awful memes and got rescinded

Ten geniuses shared memes so bad their offers to study at Harvard were rescinded, and now they have to go to worse schools. Stop to think for a second – can you imagine fucking up this bad? These memes are so awful they caused a national scandal. Check them out here, if you really want to – be warned, they're awful.

That freshman at UMass who got so drunk he became known as the drunkest kid of all time

To be fair to this kid – the drunkest kid of all time – he was really chill about this when he sobered up.

“I somewhat remember being there," he said in an interview with The Tab. "I remember getting there. I chugged a quarter handle of Rubi at the bus stop, you know, because I can, but like, it’s so funny because I learned so much about human nature.”

He added: “I don’t have a problem with the video, I have a problem with the system… it just shows that we need to go in a different direction with humanity.” Amazing.

That freshman at Michigan State who uploaded a racist Instagram

Consider this a pro-tip, not just for college but life. Do not under any circumstances do a racist post like this:

(She's referring to Ashton Brooks, the black female placekicker for the Dow football team in Michigan.)

That freshman at UCLA who wrote an unhinged email to her roommates before meeting them

When you get an email from your freshman roommate that begins with the words "I’m not gonna settle for anything less than what I’m gonna tell you," you know you're going to be best friends for life.

Winnie Chen and Giustinna Tun were freshmen at UCLA when they were emailed by their future roommate with an aggressive list of demands like “I DO NOT want the single bunk… so don’t try to leave me that. I’m also taking one of the white closets… I don’t care for which one it is, just know I’m taking one of them.”

The roommate went on: "I want the desk near the window. Plain and simple. I don't care about who gets the bottom bunk but just know what I stated. Above is what I'm expecting once I arrive at the dorm and I won't be in the mood for any arguing or other nonsense because one of you two decided to deliberately disregard this email. If needed be I'll turn it into a bigger situation so don't try me.

"Sorry but not that sorry for the attitude."