The weirdest things guys have said to us during sex that aren’t ‘I love you’

Most people would read a Tweet like this and immediately think Evan said something along the lines of  “I love you.”

https://twitter.com/evancarrie/status/858732362687025153

Earlier today, Broadly published a scientific explainer on why we sometimes blurt out things about love during sex — the conclusion they came to being, we often say it to make ourselves feel less guilty for engaging in such a personal experience with someone we don’t actually love.

“If you’re saying it with the intent of only benefiting yourself, that’s immoral,” they wrote. But I wanted to find out what truly immoral things people were saying during sex, so I reached out to a number of women and asked them to open up about some of their most cringe-worthy moments, right in the heat of things.

Here’s what they said.

Charlotte

One guy, right after we finished having sex, got his finger, swiped my vagina with it, then licked his finger, looked deep in thought and declared “Yep, you taste good.” There were no words.

Stella

“Does it bother you that I have a girlfriend?”

Madeline

“You’re like an under developed Selena Gomez.”

 Monique

“It feels like you’re tickling my soul.”

This was right after he asked me to put my finger up his butt.

Zoe

“I really like your belly.”

Literally used the term “belly” as if I were Santa Claus. Wasn’t sure what to say to that.

Maggie

“You’re my favorite sex friend.”

Izzy

“Can I eat these wings off of your back?”

Leah

“I know you’ve already said no twice today, but do you wanna do anal please?”

Carley

“I’m actually not that into girls.”

Olivia

“You have a really pretty vagina, it’s like a solid 9.5/10.”

I spent the rest of the time trying to work out what his rating system was.

Chrissie

One guy kept talking about my skin, and I had to tell him to shut up.

Jennifer

“I just keep thinking about her.”

He was referencing his last girlfriend.

Emma

“I don’t believe in abortions.”

Hannah

One guy called me “Mom.”

Lindsey

“What’s this?”

In reference to my Nuva Ring.

Annie

“Having sex with you isn’t a good idea. We’re too good of friends.”

I was in the middle of riding him.

Kayla

“Ever since I took shrooms all I can think about is my own mortality.”

He then began quoting the Bible, after making me meet his mother, who flew out from California to meet me after we’d been “dating” for a week. It all culminated in him crying and me making him tea.

Audrey

“Are you crying?”

He was being rude, and I was emotional.

Dani

“I can’t come during sex, can you just give me head instead?”

And I can now confirm, in reference to Evan’s tweet, that what he said during sex could’ve been a large range of horrifyingly inappropriate things.

“I love you,” is really just the beginning.

Names have been changed for anonymity. 

@carolinephinney