What’s the hottest accent in America? Vote here

It all depends on how you pronounce ‘mall’


Your accent reveals a lot about where you come from, what you’re like, and crucially, how hot you are. Everyone from the sun-kissed Los Angeles Valley to the ass end of New Jersey will argue that their accent is the hottest – so let’s settle this once and for all. We want you to vote for the hottest accent in America – read the entries and have your say below.

Of the infinite variations of regional accent, we have included the top 20 as chosen by our writers. But if you want to make the case for your accent to be the hottest, message a paragraph explaining why and a picture to [email protected] and we’ll include it.

Alabama

You know you’re in Bama country when a total stranger nods at you and gives you a “Roll Tide!” If you’re lucky you’ll get the diehard fan from the boondocks of Alabama that clearly never went there, as you can tell through his version of the phrase known around the world as “Rawh Tyde.” However, any way you say it, you know it means so much more than just a little cheer for the University of Alabama. It’s our way of saying hello, goodbye, how you doing, how is your mama, and everything in between. You got a DUI? Roll Tide to that. You got the dream job you wanted? Roll damn Tide to that. Your mama’s brother’s niece’s friend gave birth? Roll Tide to that little munchkin too. If you’re feeling fancy or a little extra, you can add your favorite curse words to the phrase with “Roll mother fucking Tide” (RMFT for short), “Roll damn Tide,” or “Shiiiit, Roll Tide.” You may think you’re never going to say it, but you will. They all do—and to that, Roll Tide! – Zack Maddox

Bay Area

When they drop that first “hella” or call you “dude”, you’ll be weak in the knees – if the second-hand high didn’t get you first. Nothing will send a shiver down your spine quite like the stoner drawl of the Bay Area. The raspy, slow, and sexy cadence is every bit as attractive as the gruff morning-after “Hey”. They tease you with every drawn-out vowel, leaving you on your toes with suspense. “Cotton-mouth” is just a myth – they’re leaving words mumbled and soft around the edges so you have no choice but to fixate on their dry, sultry lips. With every multi-syllabic word that seems to last a century, you’ll be imagining getting high, and then getting low with them (if you know what I mean). – Linden Moore and Samantha Wilson

Boston

“Pahk yah cah in Hahvahd Yahd.” This is the phrase you hear the second you pass a duck tour by Quincy Market. The sound of tourists trying to imitate a Boston accent makes you want to throw up. It’s a poor imitation for the real thing – an accent that sticks in your head, seducing you with its long, harsh vowels. The more you made fun of it, the more you imitated it, the more it became a part of your everyday speech. Next thing you knew, you called everything “wicked cool” and yelled “yah gahbage” at students from rival schools. You started to live and breathe the Red Sox and Patriots without realizing it, until you were out in the streets partying after the Pats won the Super Bowl. Soon after you realize you have a Red Sox cap, yet you have hated them since birth because they rival your home team. The dining hall offers clam chowda regularly, and (surprise surprise) they have Boston cream pies, donuts, and similar desserts all the time. On opening day, they serve only foods you’d find in Fenway Pahk. Real goal: find a wicked hot Hahvahd sugar daddy. – Gabi Turi

Brooklyn

Chicago


Ah, da classic Chicago accent, born from the city’s melting pot of Western European cultures. Chicago is the city of rough and rowdy people that love deep dish pizza and dropping a “th” sound for a “d.” Chicagoans make their r’s and ah’s as aggressive as their driving, and who isn’t lowkey attracted to a little vigor? If you prefer someone who’s burly and a bit rough around the edges, you’ll find the Chicago accent undeniably sexy. – Elena Alvarez

Connecticut

An accent of distinction. You have just two states of being, which can loosely be categorized into: braying laughter that your wealthy friend Brooks was let into Milbrook Golf Club (“ha ha haaaahhrgh welcome my dear Brooks”) and disdainful sneer that your nouveau riche acquaintance Jason wasn’t given membership (“he’s just not Milbrook material”). You’ve got deck shoes, pink Chubbies, a Yale blazer with the collar turned up, some really well-combed hair, your father’s AmEx, your mother’s Xanax and that blue-blooded accent. Take me now. – Harry Shukman

Florida (South)

In Florida it’s true that the further south you go, the more northern it gets. North Florida tends to resemble the accents of the surrounding states, Georgia and Alabama, but down south it’s a whole different world. In South Florida we have the big group of snowbirds (nothing sexy about that because they’re usually old), but if you’re not a snowbird, you’re probably Hispanic and from Miami, or you just tell people you’re from Miami. This accent is sure to lure you in to a day drinking sesh out on Biscayne Bay. Sexy AF and bilingual – there are few places in America where that happens. For the hottest accent in the nation, go SoFlo. – Sydney Zaruba

Jewish American Princess

The Northeast’s answer to the Valley Girl, JAPs are responsibly for 90 percent of the region’s uses of the word “like” and 100 percent of their fake friendships. They are geographically concentrated in Westchester and Long Island and will never be more than a 10 minute drive in their parents’ car from a Panera Bread or Starbucks. Their sentences are short, sweet and dripping with condescension. You leave a conversation with a JAP confused and maybe slightly aroused about their true intention and wondering what any of the thousand abbreviations they used were. – Josh Kaplan

Michigan

Michigander accents are easily the sexiest in the nation. They aren’t a tie-you-up kind of sexy — they’re a girl next door in flannel PJs kind of sexy. Between the adorable “eh?” and the upswinging letter “A’s”, these accents are sure to make your heart melt. Calling soda “pop” is sure to these cuties free drinks at the bar and your friends will be dying to know where he/she is from when they talk about the “expressway”. Just be sure to use a Trojan next time you visit Troy, MI. – Una Dabiero

Midwest

“My favorite kind of pop is Sprite!” “Do you want to make puppy chow together this weekend?” These are all potential phrases that you could hear if you took a trip to the midwest, a collection of seemingly irrelevant states that are landlocked by other seemingly irrelevant states. In the midwest, the “a” in “bag” and “tag” are pronounced with an “ayyyyyy” sound and residents feast on delectable snacks like Walking Tacos, frozen custard, and of course, puppy chow (or as many of you folks on the coast refer to it, Muddy Buddies). Midwestern accents are without a doubt the absolute sexiest – after all, where else are you going to find a manner of speaking that better encapsulates the Real American Experience? Plus, folks from the Midwest are insanely nice – they won’t hesitate to give you a smile and a hug, as long as you don’t try to assume they’re all farmers. – Canwen Xu

Minnesota

New Jersey (Central)

While North and South Jersey are duking it out on whether the classic Italian sandwich is called a hero or a hoagie, Central Jersey is chilling DTS (down the shore) with some subs. Yes, Central Jersey does exist. We do not identify with the pineys, nor with the NYC wannabes. Our NJ pride rolls deep because we are stuck in the damn center of the state. Our Italian and New York influenced accent is the sexiest and baddest around. So is our cawfee – from WaWa of course. Are you from Joisey? Because we are definitely from Joisey. – Kate Lonczak

New Jersey (North)

Much like how North Jersey is identified only by its relation to New York City, the North Jersey accent pulls much of its influence from New York. Similar to the classic Bronx accent, the North Jersey accent pronounces “coffee” like “caw-fee” and “chocolate” like “chaw-clate.” And we call things by their proper names, like subs (not hoagies) and taylor ham (not pork roll). But, if we’re being honest, the sexiest thing you’ll hear in a North Jersey accent is “let’s go to the mall”(pronounced “mawl”) because God knows the people in North Jersey don’t do anything else.

Who doesn’t love the “Ayo, ma. I said AYO MA!….Fuck you then” comment? NJ accents are the perfect mesh of the diverse population that we have. From the sexy South American accents to the Irish accents, our accents are quite frankly the best for the ear. – Maggie Fischer and Gail Vivar 

New Jersey (South)

Someone please give these South Jersey guys some “wader” cause they need it. Don’t get me wrong, South Jersey guys are nice and tan. They’re probably happy because they have the nicest beach houses. But there’s something about their tendency to call subs “hoagies” that makes every girl cringe. Like boy, what are you saying! It’s a sub, it’s WATER and most of all you are not a surfer boy, you’re from New Jersey. But they do have this hot way to speak to you that makes you melt. I could be drowning in the Jersey Shore and a South Jerz boy could save me but if he says “wader”, I would rather drown than be saved. – Gail Vivar

North and South Carolina

Being from the Carolinas, my online dating profile always warns guys that I have a pretty bad southern accent. This usually goes one of two ways, they think it’s cute or they’re instantly frightened and need reassurance that I’m not a hillbilly. The good news is your mom and dad will love me because southerners are always associated with good manners and hospitality. The accent is good at covering up how sassy I can be because basically everything I say sounds like a quote from Sweet Home Alabama and it takes getting used to. Carolina girls know how to use their southern twang to their advantage. Carolina guys sound good once they spit their dip out, too. – Delaney Sexton

Philly

“Yo, that jawn is decent!” That line right there is a common phrase you’ll hear if you find yourself walking around the streets of the City of Brotherly Love, aka Philadelphia. Jawn is an ESSENTIAL part of the Philadelphia vernacular. Jawn is used as a noun – a person, place, or thing. For example, instead of saying, “Yeah, I went to the Meek Mill concert, it was crazy,” you would say, “Yeah, I went to that Meek Mill concert, that jawn was crazy!” Philadelphia also has its own unique names for food like instead of saying “sub” we say “hoagie” and instead of “Italian ice” we say “water ice”. Philadelphia’s street slang is definitely unparalleled and if you made a visit to this amazing city and hear the residents speak, you would be able hear how our slang is the sexiest of all time. – Imani Luckey

Redneck

Another sexy voice, but not in the kind of way you immediately know it. When I talk redneck accent here, I’m talking good ‘ole boy, his idea of a date is to take you down to the crick (creek), drink moonshine, and skinny dip. OK maybe that’s a BIT of a stereotype (but also every country song), but you know someone has a redneck accent if they’ve ever been mud hoggin’. Think Luke Bryan here…yummmmy! Bonus points, they can probably line dance and will not be afraid to go with you, though apart from here don’t expect to catch them anywhere else besides a bar that’s playing Country Roads or Wagon Wheel. – Sydney Zaruba

Southern Belles and Gentlemen

Easily THE sexiest accent in the entire US. From polite and slow speaking, it makes you want to curl up in the shade by the lake (pronounce lay-uk) with a big ‘ole jug a sweet tea and listen to your sweetie pie talk and play the guitar (or banjo) all day long. True southern gents and ladies will often be heard saying phrases that sound sweet, but if you’re from the south you know what it really means. PSA “Bless your heart” really means “You’re such an idiot”. The sexiest of the sexiest have southern accents, and on top of that the deep south has class. Think modern day beauties like Julia Roberts, Reese Witherspoon (and even Megan Fox when she isn’t trying to hide it), or to satisfy your Southern Gentleman thirst think of Ashley Wilkes or Rhett Butler from Gone With the Wind. (If you haven’t seen it CLEARLY you don’t belong in this category so move along.) – Sydney Zaruba

Southern California/Valley Girl

From the sunny, stretched out vowels of Marissa Cooper’s Newport Beach “Oh my God, Ryan!”s to all of Don Draper’s clandestine California lovers, you’ve been socialized since birth to know the truth: that there’s nothing sexier than the Valley Girl accent that stretches from Malibu to your wet dreams. With all the decorum of a budding socialite, the California girl knows how to mask apathy and disdain with fake shock and awe (see: Kim Kardashian West). Her voice is full of (new) money, syncopated to the beat of crashing waves, legalized bong rips and a fake ID rubbing up against her Amex platinum. – Tiana Lowe

Texas

There’s no way we can’t start the Texas section with alright, alright, alright. Take a second and think of the sexiest people you know. Beyonce? Matthew McConaughey? Demi Lovato? All super hot. Honestly, don’t even deny that Willie Nelson makes you feel something too. It’s brasher than a typical southern accent, more fun and definitely louder, but not that drill-through-the-ear out-and-out draaawl you hear in people from other southern regions. It’s a lilt, detectable in phrases like y’all and all of it’s variations, including the rare but useful y’all’ld’ve (that’s you all would have in lay terms). The best thing about a Texas accent is that it, like the state from which is hails, is versatile. It’s the common dialect of the largest concentration of millionaires in the country (Houston), the birthplace of the cowboy (Pleasanton), the hipster capital of the universe (Austin), and a Tex-Mex mecca (San Antonio). Texas is, hands-down, the sexiest. – Amanda Ross

Upstate New York

Imagine a midwestern accent, but chilled tf out. Here, people speak with spiced up vowel sounds that get some nice nasally notes. Those who speak with an Upstate/Western New York accent probably won’t even realize they do until people point out the way that the “t”s in button disappear. If you like hard “a” sounds as much as you love shopping at Wegmans, you probably have this accent. Sweet dreams are made of these people. They’re normal enough to bring home to your family, but exotic enough to catch you off guard with an odd pronunciation every so often. Visit Rah-chester or Ay-mherst where you guys will find a bedder version of everything. Come for the tah-rism, watch the Bills take an L, and stay for the garbage plates. – Caitlin Garbo

Virginia Beach Bro

When you think of Virginia, you probably think “founding fathers”, not “beach bros”. But nestled on the coast of Virginia, in towns like Virginia Beach, Norfolk, and Hampton, there is a new dialect: the “East Coast Surfer Guy”. No one is sure where this accent came from, and it has the trademark of all surfer accents where every “a” sound is a drawn out “awhh”. But since we’re also not that far from southern drawls, we also drop the “g”s and “k”s off the ends of our words and pronounce “Friday” like “Fridee”. The one thing that is unique only to the “East Coast Surfer Guy” is our “o” sound. It’s really hard to describe or even write phonetically, but I’ll try: “oewhuh”. Listen to a Virginia Beach radio station and you’ll recognize it immediately. Is it sexy? I’m not sure. I don’t know if I’d want someone to tell me “awhll thuh theens he wawhnts toewh doewh toewhuh may” but maybe a “East Coast Surfer Girl” would. – Tabby Rose