There are only two kinds of people in this world: those who prefer Snapchat stories, and those who prefer Instagram
Tag yourself, I’m Snapchat
Before you start bellyaching to "get you a girl that can do both", have a talk with your true self and decide which one is your favorite. Even parents have a favorite child, so I know your ass has a favorite app.
Look, we can all be divided up into two groups: Instagram Story Girls, and Snapchat Story Girls. Here's what it aaaall means:
If you're an Instagram Story Girl….
Have you ever said the words "people underestimate me because of the way I look?" Have you ever purchased multiple VSCO Cam filter packages in a single sitting? Do you relate deeply and personally to that scene in The Devil Wears Prada where Miranda & Co. all seriously contemplate the differences between those two "completely identical" turquoise belts?
(Sidebar: To find that video, I started Googling the words "belt scene" and HORRIFYING THINGS popped up, don't make my mistakes, my children).
If you prefer Instagram stories, you're oriented by aesthetics, art, and beauty. You're probably a Libra or a Taurus or a Pisces and you care very much about your aesthetic. If you have a Tumblr, I'd go out on a limb as to say that it's very popular and equally well-curated.
To you, Instagram Stories are an extension of your actual Instagram. It's well-filtered, well-shot and well-loved by your tons of followers. Think of it as your b-side record: good enough for the album, but not the prime real estate. I'm not an Instagram Story Girl, but I wish I was. This brings me to Snapchat Story Girls.
If you're a Snapchat Story Girl….
Bitch, when can we hang out??? Because I know you're fun as fuck. Snapchat Story Girl are consistently the life of the party. They'll throw it, get it going, Snapchat the shit out of it, and then leave when it's in full-swing without saying goodbye to anyone.
Have you ever lip-synced a J.Cole song while filming yourself? Do you currently have a cracked iPhone, possibly caused by trying to Snapchat a concert, party or riot? Do you wholly and fully identify with everything about "the old Serena" on Gossip Girl?
If you prefer Snapchat Stories, you are lively, fun, loud, funny as fuck and maybe a low-key mess. But in a good way! You always know how to lay the greatest thirst traps, the more hilarious captions for your pictures, the best way to secretly photograph someone wilding out on the subway.
Let's think of it in terms of Kardashians because, like math, they're a universal language.
Kim = Instagram
Kylie = Snapchat
Kourtney = Instagram
Khloe = Snapchat
Kendall = Dead to me
If you're a Facebook Story Girl….
I'm praying for you :///