Snapchat emojis 2017: What do they mean? Who are your best friends? Does any of this actually matter

I cannot be the only old-ass person who uses Snapchat and thinks “what do the little Snapchat emojis mean next to people’s names in my contacts list?”

As I am mere weeks from the dusty crypt, I decided to make the most of my time on earth by asking some real young people about the meanings behind each of the little smiley faces.

So what do the Snapchat emojis mean?

The first thing to note is that your “best friends” consist of the people you send the most Snapchats to.

The smirking face means you are one of their “best friends” — but they are not one of yours.

This smiling face means you are in this person’s “best friends”, and that they are in yours.

 

When I asked people in my contacts with this emoji what it said about our relationship, this is what they said:

“It means I don’t use Snapchat very often so anyone I snap more than twice is my best friend. But also that I enjoy your presence and funny pics.” – Taylor Palmby, 21

“It means our friendship is more real than occasional, basic, dog-filtered thirst traps.” – Maggie Fischer, 20

“Had no idea we were best friends and have no idea how that happened.” – Karen Ruiz, 22

The sunglasses face emoji means that one of their “best friends” is also one of yours.

The grimacing/awkward face emoji means that your #1 “best friend” is also their #1 “best friend”.

The baby face emoji means that this person is a newly added contact.

You and this person are each other’s #1 “best friends”. This is in all likelihood someone you are dating, or at very least regularly sending nudes to.

The red heart means you have been #1 “best friends” with this person for two weeks straight. You should start looking at property together.

These hearts mean you have been #1 “best friends” with this person for two months straight. Will it be a summer wedding? Where online can I find your registry?

You have a Snapstreak with this person, meaning you’ve Snapped each other at least once a day for a number of consecutive days.

Your Snapstreak with this person is about to expire. Better send them a banal picture of yourself quickly!

This appears next to the fire emoji when you’ve had a 100-day Snapstreak with a person. Chances are you need to be surgically separated from them.

It’s their birthday, they can cry if they want to.