Here are all of the trends you’ll want to avoid this spring, according to a bunch of extremely average men

So don’t say they never did anything for you

Trends are a hard thing to pin down. One day bellbottoms are in fashion, and then I’m thrust into a world of mom jeans and new balance, and I don’t know what’s real anymore. Enter hordes of choker-donning youth, and suddenly I’m cast out into the wild, unsure of whether or not I ever, truly, understood fashion.

Everyone keeps telling me Heelys aren’t ‘in’, but I’m not ready to give up the dream. How can something be so fashionable one day, and simply not, the next?

That’s why this spring, I’m here to supply you with a list of ‘DON’T trends’, according to a bunch of really average men.

Here are your fashion guidelines for spring 2K17, and don’t say they never did anything for you.

DON’T wear fake eyelashes

So much glam ✨✨ @amanda.benko is simply stunning in #RWSP lashes! ??

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DON’T wear shorts with your ass cheeks hanging out

DON’T try to look like a Kardashian

DON’T wear nose rings

#black #lipstick #gothic #nosering #piercings #hijabinstan #l4l

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DON’T get a fake tan

DON’T excessively accessorize

DON’T get tattooed eyebrows

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DON’T add blonde streaks to your hair

DON’T wear long, fake fingernails

DON’T shave the sides of your head

Love this Undercut @215yoga Photo By?: @215shooter

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DON’T wear high-top jeans

DON’T wear lip gloss

DON’T cake your face with too much makeup

DON’T wear wacky lipstick colors

DON’T wear high heels

Legging con anagrama de @the_rotten_cherry #model @gothbae_ #highheels #anagram #goth #highheels #ootd

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DON’T get tattoos

DON’T wear bangs

Mmm fresh hair, so dreamy ???? thank you @charlottepownall

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DON’T buzzcut your hair

DON’T dye your hair outrageous colors

Okay, so I hope you were all taking notes. This spring you definitely DO NOT want to look like any of these girls. And men, really! It’s cool if you just “don’t want” to date any of them.

Because I’m sure you’d be able to pull them in the first place.