A eulogy for American Apparel, one-time source of all the world’s bodycon dresses

RIP overpriced leggings


American Apparel, erstwhile source of all things stretchy, sexy and spill-proof has gone bankrupt — for the second time in just over a year. While several sources are reporting they may eventually get bought out by Amazon, Forever 21, or one of the other clothing companies apparently courting them, it’s unlikely the brand will ever return to its former glory. You know, the kind it enjoyed circa 2013, when literally every girl you knew had a least two of those stretchy tube dresses, several pairs of overpriced leggings and one of those cotton infinity scarves.

Miss you

Remember, if you will, the days when every senior class shirt, promotional tee or set of sorority letters was printed on something from American Apparel. Like their ubiquitous leggings, these shirts were vastly overpriced, but considerably better fitting than the other crappy alternatives. Something about the cut and the stretch and the precision of that v-neck managed to both make your boobs look good in a manner that other tees simply did not. Said v-necks would eventually go on to be co-opted by skinny hipster boys with icky wisps of chest hair, but that’s another story.

Don’t lie, you totally owned these pants at some point

Recall a time in which it wasn’t embarrassing to show up to a frat party in the same exact ultra low-backed leotard as seven other girls. It was cool. It was a bond and a statement — one that proudly declared, “yeah, I paid $50 for this glorified piece of Spandex, and yeah, I am gonna have to get entirely naked in the bathroom when I have to piss later. What of it?”

Think back to a day when you planned your Halloween costume around which AA items you owned and which ones you sought to acquire. Remember the time when Jess from down the hall asked to borrow your purple lame bandeau and you really didn’t want to loan it to her because you knew her boobs would stretch it out, but you did anyway, and you were right — her boobs did kind of stretch it out. And you’ve never really forgiven her for it, have you?

Casual

Sure, their founder was a massive creep who made all their ads look like soft core porn, and sure, their clothes were of questionable quality, and yes, they used to update their online shop way too fucking often, resulting in a frenzied scramble to beg your parents for enough money to acquire the latest ‘it’ item, only to find there was a new thing to covet the very next fucking week.

Are skin-tight dresses, shiny leggings and eternally visible nips the most flattering things to wear? Probably not. According to 95 percent of mothers, definitely not. But for a brief period in time, American Apparel was the great equalizer of fashion — everyone shopped there, everything from there went together, and sizes mostly didn’t matter because it was all stretchy as fuck. And what a time it was to be alive.