As an American woman, I’ll never take my education for granted

Growing up in America, rather than my home country of India, has given me a lot of perspective on how blessed I am to have the freedom to partake in many of the opportunities provided here. In this country, I am able to choose my own identity. I was lucky enough to pick the college of my choice and the career of my choice.

Unfortunately, I only make up a small percentage of women around the world who get to choose. In India, for example, women are not as free – most of their lives have already been decided for them, either by their family or the man her family chooses for her to marry.

My grandmother, for example, told me about her hopes and dreams of becoming a lawyer. She was attending law school in India until her parents married her off to my grandfather. My grandma was forced to abandon her studies in India and move to South Africa with my grandfather so she could cook and clean for his family rather than finishing her education in India. Ridiculous, right?

I know if I were in the same boat, I would’ve told my parents I’m not getting married until I complete my education. In this country, teenagers are taught to vocalize their opinions and stand up for what they believe in. Unfortunately, many of the women in India don’t have the same opportunities as I do because their worlds revolve around a male-dominating society that suppresses women’s standpoints.

It’s ironic how India has geared toward male-dominance given that the Hindu culture, which India predominantly practices, stresses the importance of a balanced relationship between a man and a woman. In fact, some of the most powerful Hindu deities are women, such as Lakshmi who embodies spiritual and material wealth, or Kali who is the goddess of death and destruction.

In the past, women in India were allowed to take on administrative roles and participate in public forums. However, as times changed, men gained the dominating positions in society, which meant that women were forced to handle matters in their households.

These days, the roles seem to have shifted from a balanced relationship between a man and woman, to one where the man in the relationship is the primary breadwinner of the house and the woman is expected to raise her own children, as well as taking care of her in-laws who live with her. In other words, the woman is supposed to play the role of a loving housewife and do whatever her husband asks of her, while the husband serves as the only source of honor to his family (unless he has sons).

What bothers me most is that men seem to be more valued than women because they are characterized as tough, strong and ambitious, whereas women are often perceived as fragile and maternal. As a young woman myself, it’s demeaning to hear that men are a certain way and women are a certain way, and that’s just the way of life.

I remember going to India when I was a 16-year-old and being told I should learn to cook soon. Otherwise, I would have an unhappy family. First of all, at 16 years old, I wasn’t even thinking about cooking for a family, let alone marriage. Second of all, why is it that I have to learn to cook?

Had I grown up in a village in India 20 years ago, I would’ve specialized in cooking food for my family and taking care of children. I most likely would not have been able to receive a quality education, and I would have to rely on my husband for financial stability. Fortunately, my mother raised me in the U.S. where I have the privilege of getting my own education, becoming financially stable and can have a family when I am ready.

It breaks my heart knowing some women have to be 100% reliable on a man’s income because of the idea that only men should receive quality education. It’s time to acknowledge the prejudices about women being of less value than men. It’s a new generation, and by acknowledging the problems that are ongoing today, we can hopefully close the gender gaps for future generations.