The funniest and scariest stuff we found in the DNC email leak
Wikileaks calls it the ‘Hillary Leaks series’
Just days before the Democratic National Convention kicks off in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, WikiLeaks has released nearly 20,000 emails from DNC officials. Many of the emails seems to confirm the Sanders coalition’s suspicions that the DNC has been actively making deals with the media and party stalwarts to rig the primary in presumptive nominee Hillary Clinton’s favor. In addition, Twitter is reportedly suppressing the site’s activity surrounding the leaks, as #DNCLeaks was temporarily removed from Twitter’s trending section despite generating hundreds of the thousands of tweets.
While the database sheds some light on the magnitude of collusion tainting the DNC, there’s certainly some humor to be found in the emails. In the spirit of an election which borders horrifyingly Kafkaesque and comically incompetent, we’ve chronicled the funniest and scariest revelations of the leak.
Literally no one ever believed in John Kasich
The DNC was actively trying to use Sanders’ Judaism against him
Although Bernie Sanders has never emphasized his religion, he hails from thoroughly Jewish lineage from Poland and has relatives who died in the Holocaust. Despite having previously living on an Israeli kibbutz, leaked emails show that the DNC planned to corner Sanders for “skat[ing] on saying he has a Jewish heritage.”
Certain DNC party officials give some credit to Trump’s “Cruz’s dad killed JFK” conspiracy
Luis Miranda is the current Communications Director at the Democratic National Committee and the former White House Director of Hispanic Media. He also considered the obviously bullshit Trump claim that Ted Cruz’s father was implicated in the murder of JFK as not total, complete, 100% bullshit. I have no other commentary.
Former DNC Member calls Megyn Kelly a “bimbo,” “worst example to our young women”
According to Steven J. Ybarra, a former elected member of the DNC from 2000 to 2008, Trump was right, and Megyn Kelly is a “bimbo,” as well as “a good” “Fascist News Network” “bimbo.” Just. Wow.
The DNC says, “Fuck You” to those considering the feelings of rape victims
Comm. Director Miranda emailed Mark Paustenbach and the DNC Press, “Is there a Fuck You emoji?” about a Fox News reporter’s questions regarding the validity of rape accusations levied towards Bill Clinton. It’s worth noting that while definitive evidence has never been provided, on the basis of the Clinton-endorsed preponderance of evidence, Juanita Broaddrick’s rape claims ring true.
The DNC planted fake, sexist Craigslist ads from the Trump campaign
The job requirements (fake, straight from the DNC mind you) include “no gaining weight on the job” and a willingness to be greeted “with a kiss on the lips or” a “grope.”
The DNC still fears ties to former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich
Blagojevich is currently serving a 14 year federal prison sentence for soliciting bribes for President Obama’s vacated Illinois Senate seat.
Overall, the DNC is scared of looking corrupt — and they probably should be.
Of course, none of this is the say that the DNC is unique in its flaws. The RNC demonstrated a catastrophic lack of organization and voter faith. These email leaks are just a microcosm of an election plagued with lies, media collusion and a total disregard for individual sovereignty. But such is 2016. So have a laugh, and let the absurdity wash over you instead