How to transition from teenager to adult in the eyes of your parents

So you’ve been at college for over a year now and you’ve blossomed into this independent, mature adult and then you go home for the summer.

We all know this transition can be tough. You had no rules for the year and survived (for the most part) just fine and now your parents treat you as if you’ve never been gone at all.

There are tricks to becoming respected and looked at as an equal in your household- you just have to show your parents how ‘adult’ you really are.

Don’t whine when you don’t get your way

This is one of the most important steps in the transition process. When your parents are being ridiculous and barking rules at you, do not even think about whining or throwing a tantrum. You are an adult and what do adults do when they disagree with each other? They negotiate.

Negotiate with your parent and show them your opinion in a calm manner so she or he listens and respects your thought process. After all, whining was what we did in high school when we were stopped from going to the coolest party in the whole wide world in some kid’s basement.

Give your opinions at family dinners

The days of listening in on parent jargon are through. Contribute to the conversation, proving to your parents that your brain isn’t still that of an infant’s. If they talk about the election, give your take on what’s going on even if it doesn’t match up with theirs. The glory of being grown up is we have our own thoughts and we don’t have to get our knowledge from our parents anymore. Demonstrate to them that you’re mature and you’re more cultured after being away.

Drink the expensive wine

Sometimes to our warped, college tastebuds, cheap dessert wine is better than the good stuff because it’s all we know. However, if your parents open a new bottle of wine from some fancy vineyard and offer you some, say yes. Swirl it around in your glass to let that shit “air out.” Show them that you know what you’re doing with it because you are a classy adult who definitely didn’t drink it straight from the bottle at some point this year before attending a frat party. For bonus points, ask them what kind of wine it is- Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc, or a Cabernet perhaps? Oh yeah, you’re sophisticated as hell now.

Offer to help with the chores

If your mom is still putting away your clothes and doing your laundry, how is she ever going to look at you as an equal? Offer to do the whole family’s laundry just as your parents have done your entire life. Make the chores a cycle of equality so no one is waiting on you like you’re a helpless child. Wash your dishes after you eat something and make your damn bed every morning. It’s the little things that make you seem newly responsible and make your parents question, “should she/he have rules?” You’re welcome.

 Make your own appointments

This last step is the final piece of the puzzle that really shows your parents you can adult.

Do not ask your parents to make you a doctor appointment or a hair appointment. You call that place right now and ask when they’re available because your vocal chords work perfectly fine.

Ladies, if your mom knows every time you go to the gyno, you are not doing this correctly. Go to your gyno when you have an itch or redness down there, not your mother. Those days are over gals.

Show your parents that you are self-sufficient. An adult is someone who no longer needs parents to show them the ropes on how to take care of themselves. Show your parents you won’t curl up in a ball and rock back and forth if they somehow got abducted by aliens or a zombie apocalypse occurred.

These steps may seem mundane or a real pain in the ass, but the reward of having real respect from your parents will make it all worth it. This is the day you’ve been waiting for since you were 15 and crying because you got in a fight with your parents. I’m not saying it’ll be perfect- you will fight with them. You’ll probably cry because of them in the near future, but at least you can be friends with them. Show them that you can hang out with them in a way that’s different than before you went away. You can contribute to their conversations, you can debate with them without it being a fight, and you can even drink with them, too.

Show them you can adult just as well as they can.