Stop telling me I’m weird for not wanting to have sex

We are currently living in a world dictated by instant gratification. The Wi-Fi has to be lightning quick, your friend has to text you back immediately, that poster you ordered off Amazon better get here in two days or less. In my experience, I have found the same is true about sex. As a young adult, I am surrounded by a society that tells me that sex should be a prominent part of my life. I should go have fun, experiment, live a little. If I decide to go out with someone a few times, I better be ready to get frisky on the third or fourth date. Here’s a shocker for you, society: maybe I don’t want to. And that is one hundred percent okay.

I am not an expert on the subject. I wouldn’t even say I’m a novice. I’m a twenty year-old junior in college, and the farthest I’ve ever gone to this point is a bit of French kissing. Many of you will laugh at that statement, maybe mutter to yourself about how sad that is and how I need to get out more. Maybe you’re right; I should get out more, but not because I’ve never been below someone’s belt. I prefer to take things slow. I prefer to get to know the person. I am someone that goes on four or five dates before I’m comfortable enough and ready to start doing anything more than just a peck goodnight. Society says that’s weird. But why?

The status quo suggests that I should be much more experienced at my ripe old age of twenty, that I should be chomping at the bit to get into someone’s pants, or be thrilled when someone wants to get into mine – and I call that bullshit.

No one can tell you what’s right for you, especially the swirling mass of judgement that is our culture. Whether it is for moral reasons, religious reasons, or if you have social anxiety and are a little afraid, no one is allowed to tell you that your feelings and your choices are invalid. No one should be broken up with after five dates because they didn’t put out quick enough, and no one should cry the night away because they feel like they are not worth the wait.

You are worth the wait. You are worth effort and time and love. There is someone, the right someone, who will know that and validate that; they are out there waiting to find us, and will be damn lucky to have us in their life. Whatever pace is comfortable for you is OK. If you want to get frisky on the first date, that’s OK. Maybe you want to wait until the seventh, and that’s OK too. Tenth date? Great. You are OK, and you shouldn’t let anyone tell you anything different.

@thenamessteph