Girls confess how often they stalk their ex

Forget baseball – we all know America’s true favorite pastime: stalking your ex. Of course, we don’t mean physically going after them. We mean our 2am, half asleep scroll through their LinkedIn page because we ran out of every other social media.

But, how often is it appropriate to go on ex-stalking binges, what’s the best form of social media to use, and why do we do it? I asked around to find out.

Jessica

I stalk my ex’s social media because I want him back. I do it everyday when I’m not busy, and I think about him. I use Snapchat because it’s all visual updates and everyone seems to overuse it, except he barely updates. I do it because I want to see how he’s doing, and I also post to show him how I’m doing, because I’m still in love with him to be honest. The most embarrassing moment was one day when I was on Twitter trying to add his friends and I accidentally favorited a tweet from a long time ago.

Zoe

I don’t stalk my ex, but I do stalk his current girlfriend. I don’t do it out of jealousy, but rather because I kept getting told she’d subtweet about me. For instance, I told my ex happy birthday and she tweeted this about it. Mind you we were together almost three years.

I find Twitter super useful for stalking because I feel like people are more ruthless with what they say on Twitter as opposed to Facebook.

Audra

My ex and I are really good friends, but I still have feelings for him, and every time he mentions a girl, I have to stalk her, even if it’s not someone he’s involved with. As far as how often, I’d say anytime I’m either terribly bored, like before I fall asleep or in class, or if I see an update of his on some form of social media that peaks my interest. Facebook and Instagram are typically the mediums I use, but especially Facebook because it allows you to get real deep in the creep game because nine times out of 10, his entire family is on it. I think I do it for a myriad of reasons: genuine curiosity, boredom, and I’ll be honest because I want to feel like I’m doing better than him in some way. That sounds terribly shallow and callous, but it’s human nature. I don’t stalk because I miss him. I stalk because I want to rationalize in my own mind that I’m probably better off.

There was one instance that I was stalking his new girlfriend while I was falling asleep, and I suppose my finger slipped or I leaned on it, but I liked one of her photos. The next time I saw him in a social situation, luckily she was not there, he brought it up that I had liked her photo. All I could do was laugh it off. He, however, took it that I was jealous and somehow still interested and proceeded to ask if I wanted to hang out soon. I said no. And yes, she was cooler and prettier and appeared far nicer than I am, so I hope for her sake she kicked his ass to the curb.

Ashley

One time I hooked up with a guy and I was really feeling him, but I didn’t know his last name, so I literally went on twitter and wrote his first name only and scrolled until I found him. My phone was on the fritz and the screen started jumping up and down when I was on his page which resulted in following him and liking two of his tweets. I had met this guy once. It was an astronomical embarrassment. We hooked up a couple times after, but I’m positive he thinks I’m in love with him.

Gigi

I usually stalk on Instagram, but if they’re on private I use Facebook. If their Facebook is private, I go far enough to find their parents’ Facebooks so I can see if the girl is pretty or not, because when she is I get kinda jealous. My ex lives in Florida, and the only reason we broke up was because I moved away. We’re friends, but he’s turned into a total man whore and his Snapchats will always have pics of girls and living in Florida. Of course all the girls are hot, so I ask him who they are and do the rest of the stalking myself, but I guess he told some of them because they blocked me. My ex will openly tell me about all areas of his life except girls, so I have to stalk to find that part out.

Katie

I usually stalk my FWB about once a week, sometimes more often if I know there was a big event or a night out. I scroll through his Facebook, and will delve deeper into his tagged photos if needed to determine who he was out with. If he Tweets, I will check the tweets he favorited, just to see who he’s flirting with/potentially talking to. I do it because, honestly, I’m a jealous person, and I don’t do well in casual relationships. I know I’m setting myself up for heartbreak every time, but I’m too nosy to ever stop. The craziest story I have is that I once stalked him via Instagram and Facebook and made a list of all the girls he’d been tagged with at date functions/nights out/weddings/ect. and taking their captions and poses into consideration (basically deciding if they were friends or more) discovered that he was potentially hooking up with 11 girls in the same semester at almost the same time.

Alexa

When we first broke up, I stalked him almost everyday. Then it gradually got less and less. Now it’s only once every several months. Sometimes, I’ll look more if my friends send me screenshots of crazy stuff she posts. I use Tumblr to stalk my ex. She would post really personal stuff on there, even things about me a lot. She ended up deleting it though. I unfriended her and unfollowed her on everything. The only page I look at anymore is her Facebook since it’s public.

At first, I looked to see if she was posting anything about me. Then it turned into me wanting to see what a train wreck her life was to make me feel better about myself. Now I just look at it to laugh. That sounds harsh. Oh well. The craziest thing that’s happened is I almost accidentally added her new girlfriend on Facebook.

Photo by Melissa Rios

Alexis

When we first broke up, I stalked him way too often. Literally every time I thought of him I’d somehow end up on his page, but I also had that problem when we were dating too. As I slowly got over him, it happened less and less. Now I’d say I probably check up on it like once every two weeks, or when something interesting pops up on my newsfeed. We’re friends now though, so I feel like the frequency that I stalk him is the same frequency I do with other friends. I use Facebook 100 percent. That’s the only social media he has, but sometimes I’ll check his university’s sports team’s Twitter to see if they’ve said anything about him. I ask myself this why I do it all the time. At first I thought it was because I missed him, and that I had trust issues, but I think it was ultimately because I was bored and curious.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

● An effective and foolproof guide to internet stalking without getting caught

● Can I hire this savage girl to destroy my exes on Twitter, too?

● We all joke about it, but this girl ACTUALLY fucked her ex-boyfriend’s dad and lived to tell the tale

@TheTab