Things you’ll only understand if you grew up in The Woodlands, Texas

Welcome to the bubble


Every time I tell someone I’m from The Woodlands, whether I’m somewhere in Texas or as far as at college in New England, I can already see the stereotypes of me forming in their head – rich, spoiled, stuck-up, snobby, [insert another synonymous adjective here.]

Although these stereotypes are far from defining the average Joe from our quintessential Southern suburb, it’s hard not to give ourselves this rep when we offer some of the wealthiest real-estate and golf courses in Texas. With one of the lowest crime rates in the state and some of the nicest gated communities to tuck ourselves into, it’s no wonder we are commonly referred to as “The Bubble.” We were even ranked the second snobbiest place in Texas.

As obnoxious as it may seem, it would be even more obnoxious to complain about growing up in such a lovely place. We have amazing parks, shopping, restaurants, schools, and even our own lake.

Located just north of Houston, we get the best of both worlds – easy access to one of the most vibrant cities in the country, and the comfort and security of a secluded, planned community.

Though it is comparable to other Texas suburbs, it has its own charms and characteristics. Here are 10 things every kid who grew up in The Woodlands can relate to.

Friday Night Football was religion 

No shock here – we’re in Texas. Friday Night Lights is basically a documentary of our high school days. The stands were filled up every Friday night in the fall, as everyone went in their school colors to socialize and cheer. During playoffs, it wasn’t uncommon for half the school to carpool halfway across the state to support.

There is still nothing quite like the combination of a Texas sunset and stadium lights setting the scene for an epic night. #mems

photo by Laura Cook

Your high school parking lot had a net worth larger than Angelina Jolie 

Okay, that’s definitely an exaggeration, but if you parked between an Audi and a Range Rover in high school, we probably graduated together. Don’t get me wrong, not everyone drove a car that costs as much as a house, but we didn’t have a shortage of them either.

Market Street ate all your money

Chipotle was responsible for making me #broke in high school. However, the fifty other trendy shops and restaurants didn’t help either. At least there’s a dope Christmas tree during the holidays.

Homecomings and Proms also ate all your [parent’s] money

Party buses, human-sized mums, insane dresses, elaborate promposals, dinner reservations in the city, and weekend trips to the beach – welcome to homecoming and prom in Texas. If there’s anything I know, it’s that kids from The Woodlands go all out for these hallowed events.

I am not kidding when I say girls start shopping for their dresses as early as January, and decked out party buses drop off herds of little delinquents on the Galveston coast. What a TIME.

 

photo by Alyssa Jorgensen

Some of the best musicians in the world performed right in your backyard

What’s better than having one of the largest outdoor ampitheaters in the country right in the middle of your suburb? Thanks to The Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion, you didn’t have to leave the comfort of your own turf to see all of your favorite acts. It was also probably where you sweated your ass off for 5+ hours during your high school graduation. Whoever invented caps and gowns as the occassion’s official attire obviously didn’t have to sit through graduation in the Texas heat.

You were spoiled with protected left hand turns 

*Leaves The Woodlands*

*Approaches an unprotected left hand turn*

*I’M GONNA DIE*

Pep rallies were a real thing

They were loud. They were proud. And the seniors always won the competitions.

photo by Laura Cook

The Gorilla Hole 

You really only get this ellusive reference if you went to 5th-6th grade in The Woodlands.

How could you forget The Gorilla Hole? This place was LIT on Friday nights when you were a youngin’. This is where you had your first kiss (#tbt to mine under the skate ramp.) This is where you whooped some ass in basketball. This is where you watched some of the most intense dance battles of your life. This is where you hammered 10 pizzas a night. This was everything good.

You bragged to everyone about Chamillionaire living in your suburb

He wasn’t the only celebrity with some impressive real-estate in The Woodlands. In fact, celebrities have been known to visit our suburb every now and again (#tbt to when Kim Kardashian stayed at the Avia and caused pandemonium). But like, Ridin’ Dirty was the shit. So he wins.

As much as you complained about the bubble life, it was the best place to grow up 

Yes, we all complained about getting out of there ASAP and experiencing all the wonders and thrills of the non-bubble-life. And many of us did.

But there’s no better place in the world to return back home to. Our parents gave us an incredibly safe and opulent place to grow up. The unbeatable Mexican food, the perfectly manicured streets, and the trees wrapped up in Christmas lights year-round will always hold special places in our hearts.

And, most importantly, thank G it lets us call Texas home. #TexasForever.