Can men and women just be friends?

It’s ‘When Harry Met Sally’ all over again


It’s funny how people will say your partner should be be your friend friend, but then immediately afterwards say guys and girls can’t be friends. Well, can they?

This question has been posed and debated for ages now. If you’re a girl, you’ve probably heard it answered from your parents in every one of those lessons about why you shouldn’t trust guys. The answer is almost always: no, they can’t.

As much as I believe my parents about the rest of their advice, I refuse to accept that statement as fact. It just doesn’t make sense. Think about it – what is a friend? Someone who likes you, cares for you, and is there for you.

If I couldn’t have feelings of personal regard for anyone in the male population that would be rather rude actually. But I do. And the feeling is mutual, at least I’d hope.

So, what I’m getting at is — that’s not the real argument. The real debate is between whether there is an added factor of sexual interest in that affection.

I’ll tackle that. We’ve found, especially over the last decade, that every male is not inherently attracted to every female and vice versa. Hence, our gay population. Surely a gay man can be friends with a female without there being sexual interest. Or would he magically become straight when talking to a female? I think not.

Also, even when being straight, we know full well that there are some people of the opposite gender we just don’t find attractive. If a guy and a girl with this mutual feeling talk, the sexual interest would be nonexistent, no?

Now let’s take an average guy and an average girl. They may very well be interested in that way, but not act on it for whatever reason. No matter how sexually attracted they are, to be friends all they need to do is have feelings of personal regard without actually having sexual relations.

Here’s what it comes down to. If people want to argue that there is sexual attraction in every relationship between a man and woman, then I don’t agree but go ahead. But what you can’t argue is that they can’t be friends.

It may be an argument of semantics, but I really don’t care. It sounds ridiculous the way people say it. The reason it’s so important to clarify is because telling girls that guys and girls can’t be friends can lead to them unknowingly distancing perfectly healthy relationships.

We’d be collectively missing out on what could be some of the best relationships of our lives. I know I’d hate to live without my bros.