The women of Vietnam have taught me strength, hard work, and graciousness

My month here has taught me the type of woman I want to be


Vietnam is full of amazing things. The architecture, food, and art here have an energy that could never be compared with anywhere else in the world. I am lucky enough to revel in it for the month of June, which is only long enough to dip a toe into a pool of culture and tradition.

While here I have learned not only about Vietnam, but about myself and the person that I wish to be. I want to be kind, I want to be gracious, I want to be strong, and I want to be respectful. These are values that I have strived for all my life, frequently falling short, but what I have not realized is that what I’ve actually wanted to model myself after is a Vietnamese woman.

Since coming here I have been greeted with kindness and acceptance that I have never known. I figured that coming to Vietnam as an American would be a little sticky because of the history. I told myself that I would understand that people would probably sneer at my accent, cringe at my western clothing, and look down on my blonde hair. This could not be farther from the truth.

Art from the Vietnam war that hangs in the Vietnamese Women’s Museum.

One day I decided to go off on my own in Hanoi, and see as much as I possibly could. I made a list, and checked them off one by one: Hanoi Hilton, The Vietnamese Women’s Museum, The Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum, and the markets at Old Quarter. Everywhere I went (obviously the Women’s Museum, but let’s put that aside for the moment), I was surprised to find many facts about the Vietnamese women’s history that are amazing.

While at Hanoi Hilton I learned that women took a very active role in the IndoChina Wars. Countless women were arrested, taken to jail, starved, tortured, and killed. There was even a section in the prison for women with children. So women would give birth and raise their children in a dirty and crowded jail cell.

Inside Hanoi Hilton, the prisoner of war camp in Hanoi.

At the Vietnamese Women’s Museum and in the Old Quarter markets, I learned how hard Vietnamese women work. Women spend weeks and months apart from their families in order to sell fruit, flowers, and other goods in the markets in Old Quarter Hanoi. This is grueling work that often involves getting up at three in the morning, sitting out in the unforgiving heat all day, and making very little money.

While I have seen both men and women doing this work, the overwhelming population of street vendors has been made up of women. Many women do this to support their families (who they only see very infrequently) as best as they can. Because the healthcare in Vietnam is very basic, something like a stroke can leave the man of the house unable to recover or work. This is extremely detrimental to the family because women are told to get married, raise the family, and have the husband work. Very traditional, very oppressive. So if something does interfere with the man’s ability to work, the family can often be left in financial ruin. The mother often has no prior work experience or skills to fall back on, but the complete burden of providing for the family.

A vendor on the streets of Hanoi.

Aside from what I have learned in museums, what I have experienced from Vietnamese women has been overwhelming. For example, I am here for the month to teach English at a small primary school in a very poor area, and the school is run by women teachers and women principals. Every day I have been greeted with smiles, thanks, compliments, and an overall gratitude for teaching just two lessons a day. In fact, one day one of the teachers brought me a five pound bag of lychee fruit that she grew in her backyard, just as a gift to keep me healthy and full. I had no words at her generosity and thoughtfulness, but apparently this is a normal and standard thing for a Vietnamese woman to do.

So, since being in Vietnam I have learned that all my life I have been striving to be strong like the women who fought for their independence and raised their children in a jail. I have been striving to be hardworking like the women who work extremely hard for almost nothing to support their families. I have been striving to be kind and gracious like the women whose class I teach.

There is no one else that I would rather look up to than these wonderful women that I have come to know and study during my time away.