All the customers you’ll meet in a retail job

I always find it funny how, no matter where you work or shop, you will find certain stereotypes of customers. You know, one of those customers who makes you turn to your friend or coworker with a little chuckle and raise of an eyebrow. This cast of characters keeps tedious, mundane work days colorful and interesting. I didn’t have to look far to find them, whether I was working at one of my summer jobs or just out shopping.

The Mama Bear

Mama Bear comes in with her two or more cute kids in tow. They are practically bouncing off the walls with energy, running around and touching everything in sight. She looks rather frazzled (with those perfect angels as children? I can’t imagine why), but she came in with a mission and won’t leave until she gets whatever it is done.

As she checks out at the cashier, she keeps telling her kids with an exasperated eye-roll that “no, they cannot buy this and that.”

You smile when she leaves. Maybe one of her children grabbed her hand and pulled her forcefully out of the store, or asked to be carried out piggy-back style. They sure are adorable, albeit a bit wild.

The Clueless Husband

This customer is very common, especially around Valentine’s Day and Christmas. He has a very vague idea for a birthday or holiday gift for his significant other. He will say he wants “something nice for his wife” or “something that she will love.” Making a beeline for any female employees, he will spend hours in the store asking questions about which thing Jessica might like best.

He stops at every object, whether it’s jewelry, coasters, or lingerie from Victoria’s Secret, picks it up, and asks “What about this?” You can practically feel how stressed out he is about picking out the perfect gift, and you can’t help but take pity on him. After perhaps hours of looking around, he finally settles on buying more than one gift, or double checks that what he bought is returnable- just in case.

He is rather endearing in his bumbling confusion towards all things female, and in his determination to find the absolute perfect gift for his ‘lucky lady.’

The Scheming Tight Pocket

Boy, do they have tricks up their sleeve. They will do anything to get a discount.

They will ask you to discount their total, even though they “left the coupon at home.” Okay, Susan, we know there is no such coupon that you speak of. They will bring their product back, claiming that it is dysfunctional, and ask for a brand new one or to refund it- even though they’ve clearly worn or used theirs already.

When they aren’t finding loopholes in return policies, coupons, and store discounts, or asking for “frequent shopper price deductions,” they are pretending to be really interested in something but the only thing holding them back is the “outrageous” price. You either give them a discount or don’t make a sale at all.

As much as they are hard to deal with, you have to give them props for their tenacity.

The Savvy Shopper

They only buy something if they have a good coupon deal, there is a massive sale going on, they are at a thrift store, or it’s Black Friday. The word “clearance” makes their ears go up, and they come running.

Like the Scheming Tight Pocket, they will never buy anything full price. The difference is, however, the Savvy Shopper waits for the discount to come to them, rather than trying to procure one from finagling with the employees.

The Savvy Shoppers always finds the perfect thing for a great price. The key is that they don’t buy unless it is really amazing; they have a world of patience and restraint when it comes to shopping.

The Bottomless Wallet

This costs as much as a down payment on a car? No problem.

The Bottomless Wallets are the envy of every shopper. If they like it, they buy it– no matter the price whatsoever.

But despite their obvious wealth, they aren’t snobby at all; they seem to be genuinely interested in learning about you. You can’t help but want to be their friend (especially after they buy a few spontaneous gifts for their buddies).

They seem to live a life of pure leisure and luxury. Everyone hopes to be a Bottomless Wallet one day.

The Super Nice Customer

If you ever have a job, you will meet each and every rude, nasty kind of customer. But when you get a handful of really, genuinely wonderful shoppers, it is all worth it. Even after one small, interaction with one of these customers, you will forget all about the complaining, intrusive, and disrespectful people you have encountered. Their smile, playful banter, thoughtful comments, or easy conversation are cure-alls for every pain another customer has caused you.

Without the variety of customers you encounter in your working experience, you wouldn’t have any great and funny stories. You wouldn’t be able to tell your friends how one couple bought a painting for the price of your rent, or how one shopper that day could have been featured on Extreme Coupon-ing.

Though these characters may all seem a bit aggravating in the moment, they sure keep you on your toes. You won’t be bored when they are shopping, and that’s a guarantee.