The guide to texting fuckboys

I’ve had a cell phone since seventh grade and boys still suck at texting. Some of the texts boys send me are horrifying, yet slightly hilarious. It amazes me that these boys thought it was okay to send anyone these texts, especially the girl that they are supposedly ‘into’.

I gathered a few texts to share the realest fuckboy moments that my squad and I have been sent.

Come on half the suspense is in the foreplay and THIS is how you decide to start the conversation?

When a guy sends this kind of text you know you have officially gone from girlfriend material to side chick. To obtain your dignity deny the request, you could use the extra sleep anyway.

Please think of a better pickup line then, “Lemme bang you.” It’s 2016

My biggest issue with this dude is the fact he is clearly admitting it’s just a sexual relationship, where is the mystery these days.

He ain’t lying!

This was the weirdest message I received from my squad. These texts highlight the clear disrespect happening in the relationship, which is why I advise my friend to please move on.

It really did feel as if I was having a conversation with tumblr

The experience was a 6/10 if I’m being generous honestly. I would have ignored these texts if I had a second chance. Never hook up with your ex from high school, you broke up for a reason, and he’s gotten so boring since college.

You are not the CEO of a multibillion dollar company. Take the time to text me back

A person will make time for you if they really like you, remember that.

Yes, that means we will not be ‘banging’

Why do you still have his contact in your phone?

Wow, how enticing

We don’t have to go skydiving every date, we are young adults, I understand you have $2 on your bank account. The best kind of person to date is someone who you can have a good time with when your doing nothing at all.

That is the absolute last thing I would want to do right now

Just put this iMessage conversation on do not disturb and go watch some Grey’s Anatomy.

My advice for dealing with these kind of texts is to brush it off. Boys will always be needing to improve their pick up lines and I guess telecommunication is no different. I’m sure I have my texting flaws and I do admit to a drunk text, or four.

Don’t take anything to seriously over text message and maybe you should find a new man.

@elenimitzali