Everything you know if you live in Metro Detroit

Ah, Detroit. Motown. Hockeytown. The Motor City.

It might have a less-than-glowing reputation on the national scale, but the city (along with its surrounding suburbs) is still a place that many call home, exposing them to the unique knowledge that comes with living in Michigan’s most underrated locale.

Here are some of the things you might have picked up if you’ve spent some time in The D.

When you’re in Michigan, you’re from the suburbs, but when you’re anywhere else, you’re from Detroit

We’ve all had that eye-roll inducing moment when you meet someone in the mitten and they tell you they’re from Detroit, but what they really mean is Farmington Hills. But then when you’re introduced to John from Florida who doesn’t know the difference between Brighton and Birmingham, you have to say you’re from the city even if you’re forty minutes out.

Out-of-state perceptions of Detroit are obnoxious

Every once and a while, a celebrity or big-shot businessman will come down to the city and give a bunch of interviews about how ‘surprised’ they are by how friendly Detroiters are, or how nice everything is, something Michiganders know to be obvious. Nowadays it seems like everyone South of Toledo hears the word Detroit and pictures some kind of barren, Orwellian hellscape. Yes, there are people who live there. No, you’re probably not going to get robbed the minute you set foot on Woodward. Relax.

Eastern Market Saturdays are the only reason to wake up before 10 AM on the weekend

There’s nothing like grabbing a wagon and making your way over to Shed 3 to load up on all the delicious homegrown food Detroit has to offer. If you grew up in or around Detroit, Eastern Market is a staple of your childhood and conjures up a sense of nostalgia as you shuffle through the crowds listening to street performers and preparing yourself for some candy at Rocky’s afterward.

John King is the only place to go for your next page-turner

It’s also the number one location for when you need a little whiff of old book smell, and ranked #2 best bookstore in the world.

DCFC is the best sports experience in the state, and maybe the country

You can’t describe Detroit City Football Club games to anyone who hasn’t been, but simply tell them to go and see for themselves. There’s something about attending an event with such passionate fans screaming for a grassroots minor league soccer team that makes you feel like you’re part of something historic. Not to mention the cheering, with chants like ‘No One Likes Us’ and ‘No Pity’ that encompass the meaning of Detroit Vs. Everybody.

The Detroit Comeback is bittersweet

In general, the revival is a good thing. It means the city’s getting safer; there’s more parks, restaurants, and places to shop, and better public services. But it also means gentrification, the loss of businesses and residents that have called Detroit home for years, and an influx of Detroit hipsters trying to “save” the city one beard at a time.

You can see Canada from your house

Yes, that is Canada over there. Yes, we could swim over if we wanted, but 1) border patrol would be there waiting with handcuffs on the other side and 2) it’s Windsor, which is useful for a night in the casino when you turn 19, and nothing else.

Coney Island is not an amusement park

It’s a food paradise that’s home to what are probably the best hot dogs in the state, and also the cause of some deep-seeded allegiances that have the potential to tear apart decade-long friendships. Lafayette > American.

‘Up North’ is more than just a direction

For Metro Detroiters, going Up North can mean going anywhere from Lexington to Mackinaw Island. You might be lucky enough to own a  cabin of your own, but if not, you rent one for the weekend or sponge off your family friend’s hospitality to spend summers at the lake and winters at Boyne or Nub’s Nob.

8 Mile is not a fictional location

It’s a real street filled with strip clubs that any true Detroiter can name in order. Also, Eminem’s real name is Marshall Mathers, and you probably know someone who played volleyball against his daughter.

Detroit is the art capital of the state

Yes, there’s the Diego Rivera mural, which you can basically draw from memory by the time you graduate elementary school, but we’ve also got van Gogh’s self-portrait, some Warhols, and so much more. And that’s just the DIA. There’s also the MOCAD, The Heidelberg, and some really underrated street art scattered throughout the city.

No event is complete without Faygo, Vernor’s, and Bettermade Potato Chips

And maybe some Slow’s BBQ and a few of Detroit’s famous microbrews.

It’s not a churro unless it comes from Mexicantown

And if you only go there for Cinco de Mayo, you are the worst kind of person.

The People Mover is useless

But we will still defend its practicality and its name, for some reason.

Ruin porn is overrated

AKA photos of Detroit’s abandoned buildings. Some of it is good, most of it is just stuff we shot for our high school photography classes or artsy instagrams.

Every time you get behind the wheel, it takes days off your life

Construction is the bane of your existence, and Detroit pedestrians have a death wish. There’s nothing more infuriating than watching someone walk across the middle of Jefferson while your car is going 40 miles per hour, except maybe those people who run the stoplights downtown because they know there aren’t any officers on duty to stop them.

Three is a special number

Three as in Big Three, as in the heart and soul of Detroit. If you live in the area, it’s impossible not to know someone who works for one of these automotive companies, and they’re easy to spot because they have a different car every three months.

The phrase ‘it’s not that bad’ is associated with Detroit way too often

When you talk about Detroit to people who’ve never lived in or around it, you anticipate their questions right away, and defending a city to someone who’s never been there gets a little old. The truth is that Detroit, like any major city, has its problems, but there’s a reason Metro Detroiters stick around. The people, the history, the incredible waterside views, and everything else that make the city great all add up to one piece of common knowledge:

Detroit is home.