We asked Southerners if they think vegans are annoying

If for some reason I have not already told you about 30 times, I’m vegan. Like many vegans, I grew up in the land of kale smoothies and liberalism called New England. However, I now live in Nashville, Tennessee, as a student at Vanderbilt University.

I’ve always stereotyped Southerners as being meat-scarfing, dairy-drinking folks with no intention of changing their ways, so I figured I’d test my theory. I asked a handful of my friends who grew up down South if they’d ever go vegan, what foods they would miss and whether or not they think vegans are annoying as hell.

Austin, 19, South Carolina

When I asked Austin if he’d like to answer some of my questions, clearly he was busy. He replied with: “Well, I’ll think of something while I eat my salted caramel ice cream and lactose pills.”

“Hmmm…wait, why am I even thinking about this? I’d never go vegan. Vegans always strike me as a smidgen pretentious. And I’ve always striven to remain humble and kind. Plain folks ain’t vegan. We thrive off that dollar menu. If you were to pay me to go vegan for a week, I’d consider accepting a year’s supply of Commodore Tso’s chicken after the week terminated, a meat-filled Vanderbilt University delicacy.

“No, I wouldn’t say vegans are annoying. I just think they’re extraordinarily narrow-minded. While I admire their stone-cold determination, they may come across as elitist. I recommend they try a little tenderness. Eat some humble pie. Or better yet, some Zaxby’s chicken tenders with crinkle fries.”

Charlie, 19, Virginia

Charlie seemed to feel so passionately about this topic that he felt it necessary to respond in the form of poetry.

“Absolutely never would I, as a Southerner, go vegan. In Virginia, we are so Southern that we have to ride wild hogs to school every morning, and our mothers don’t pack us lunch because we were raised to eat said wild hogs. It would be a disgrace to throw my heritage to the wind and let those wild pork-chops run free.

“You’d pay me to go vegan? No sum of money could make up for such loss. As a meat eater, you know I’m the boss. I won’t be tied down by dietary restrictions, for I’m not a man of your vegan convictions.”

Simmons, 19, South Carolina

“I would go vegan probably to just try it out and see if I liked it and if it made me feel better. But I probably wouldn’t like it and would go back to my ways. I would miss meat, obviously. I love a good steak or a cheeseburger. But I would also miss dairy products because who doesn’t love cheese?

“I don’t think vegans are annoying at all. It’s your life choice and that’s awesome that you stick to it. The only annoying thing is if they constantly bring it up and make others feel bad about their own choices.”

Thomas, 19, Tennessee

“I don’t think I’ll ever be completely vegan, primarily because of 1) a lack of willpower and 2) I can cut down my consumption of animal products more effectively without stopping totally cold-turkey. I’m totally into cutting the majority of cow’s meat and milk out of my diet, though.

“I’d probably miss the ease of having no difficult choices to make when eating, and the half of every menu at every restaurant I go to that has animal products. I can’t ever stay annoyed with veganism because I think vegans are absolutely right in what they stand for.

“The consumption of animal products in the US (and otherwise) is at an unsustainable level, and it is good for everyone to limit their intake from the meat/milk/animal-clothing industries. I tend to try and stay away from staunch, zero-exceptions approaches to a lifestyle, because that often leads to shaming others, people feeling like they’re better than other people…etc. I sometimes see those things in the vegan community, which isn’t super effective. They’re still right, though.”

Jeffrey, 19, South Carolina

“I’ve always grown up with meat all around me and I’ve never really thought hard about it. It’s a way of the South that people just eat meat. It’s in the Southern food category, and most people really don’t have another view on it. Not to say that veganism is a bad thing, at all. However, Southerners don’t grow up thinking about meat in that sense. I don’t know if that made sense or not.

“I would probably miss bacon the most. However, I like all meat, really. Seafood and pork and chicken are good. I can do without hot dogs and hamburgers. However, I love salads and such and do eat vegetarian dishes on occasion.

“I’m perfectly fine with vegans. They’re great people and are just like me except a little different. However, I can’t stand when people try to push veganism down my throat and try and force me to feel bad for what I eat and such. The abrasive vegans can be annoying, but every other vegan is just like me. You choose what you eat or don’t eat. I won’t judge anyone for that at all. Just don’t judge what I eat in return.”

Crystal, 19, Texas

“I’ve already tried actually going vegan. Once when I was a junior in high school, I just decided to try it for some reason. I don’t remember if there was a good reason. I think I just wanted to try something new. I was really self-conscious about my body in high school (not that that has really changed) and I just had this idea that vegans and vegetarians had better bodies (probably true), so I tried going vegan.

“That lasted about two days, and then I promised myself I could be a vegetarian. And then I couldn’t do that, so I decided I’d try being a pescatarian. And then I had to go back. I couldn’t do it. And all that happened over the course of about a week.

“My mom cooks a full table of Korean food for dinner every night, and a lot of the best dishes she makes have meat in them. It was literally painful to have to try to avoid those things when I sat down. My biggest problem with being vegan personally is the accidental rule-breaking thing. I don’t actively seek out meat, but when it’s in front of me, I have a hard time resisting. So as long as I don’t see anything I’m not supposed to eat, no problem.

“I don’t think vegans as a whole are annoying. I don’t think that would even make sense. People are free to do as they choose for whatever reason they feel justifies their actions. ‘Murica.”