‘I was diagnosed with cancer when I was 17’

The majority of us know at least one person affected by cancer.

I met Jess Hoag through about a year ago. I’ve gotten to know her well over the past year and she has become a good friend of mine. However, I was surprised when just recently I found out she’s also a cancer survivor.

Jess was finishing her junior year of high school when she went to get an ultrasound of her thyroid. A few weeks later, she was diagnosed with thyroid cancer.

Now, Jess is a rising senior at Penn State and at only 21 years old, has been cancer free for almost four years.

When were you diagnosed with cancer?

I was officially diagnosed with thyroid cancer when I was 17 after my finals week during my junior year of high school. I had been suffering from a cold that wouldn’t go away and at a checkup my usual doctor found a lump in my neck.

I was immediately told to get an ultrasound of my thyroid and the technician made a passing comment about the chances of having cancer. At first, I told myself there was no way that could be a possibility, but the doctor visits added up and two weeks later I was transferred to the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. It was only when a number of doctors began to analyze my neck that the technician’s comment became more real to me. My doctors, however, didn’t want to confirm it until after I had surgery to analyze my thyroid.

A few days after surgery, I got a call from my doctor and he confirmed it was cancer.

How did you feel when you were diagnosed with cancer?

After I got the call, it hit me that this was real and not some nightmare – I broke down on the phone. My doctor managed to cheer me up, but I was scared. It was such a shock and I also remember being mad. Until I finally accepted it there would be nights I would just break down crying to myself. But, strangely enough, I was also feeling really optimistic. After talking to my doctor I knew that after radiation, the cancer would most likely be gone. I told myself to focus on the present and the next step for treatment. In the end I decided to focus on all the good things I had in life: my family, good friends, and all the experiences I’ve had.

I have been cancer free since my radiation treatment in August 2012 which made me more afraid of the doctor visits that followed to determine if this was still the case. Before every appointment and still to this day I prepare myself for the worst news: that the cancer is back and I will have to go in for treatment.

Who was the first person you told outside of your immediate family?

I don’t remember the first person specifically but I know I told my friends from my lunch table. I told them all separately in person.

I waited to tell my best friend last because of the fact she had just recently lost her grandmother to cancer. I was nervous to tell her I had cancer too.

How did your closest friends take the news?

Some began treating me differently – they treated me with pity and acted sad. That was one thing I hated about the whole experience. I just wanted people to treat me normally and not constantly feel bad for me. This only made me feel worse about my situation because I didn’t want to view my cancer in such a negative way. There was nothing I could do to change my situation. I just wanted to keep moving forward and enjoy myself and enjoy the moments of fun I had.

Fortunately, my two closest friends didn’t let their fear show. I think they felt they had to be brave for me. That’s the thing about the people around you. For some reason, when anything bad happens, you see people’s true colors. You will either see the best or the worst in people.

What was the most memorable moment from this experience?

I actually had a near-death experience; it happened after I had my thyroid removed. When I woke up from surgery I couldn’t speak and I was essentially going in and out of consciousness for the first day and a half. During this time, I always had to have someone hold my hand and would occasionally bang my hand on the side rail if someone wasn’t there to hold it. At one point, I overheard my doctor warn my family of a possible post-surgery symptom. He said that if my body felt like pins and needles, it would mean I had a vitamin D deficiency. In this case a nurse would need to be notified.

The next day I could barely speak and my voice was still hoarse. It was late at night and I was gaining a fever so the nurse gave me some medicine. But when she noticed my calcium levels were low she gave my mom more medicine to give me. Soon after, my face felt tingly like the pins and needles my doctor warned my family about. I let my mom know and she quickly called a nurse. Suddenly my whole body began to feel like pins and needles. When the nurse checked my levels they were completely off. As she went to get my doctor my legs began shaking and my body tied itself into a knot. I could only open the palm of my hand because all my muscles were tightening up. I started struggling to breathe as more doctors rushed in. Thinking there was something in my throat they argued whether to do a tracheostomy (an incision in my windpipe) or not but then decided to check with a camera first. However, the first camera they tried using didn’t work and while they looked for another camera, the nurses were shoving huge doses of vitamin D down my veins, causing some to collapse.

I soon became terrified, angry, and determined all at once. I was struggling to breathe and my heart rate was pacing rapidly. I kept thinking to myself, “I am not dying! I am not dying in this hospital bed! I have so much to live for! Jessica, you are not going to die, not today!” After having my own internal battle the doctors rushed back with a camera that worked and could see nothing blocking my airways. Finally, the vitamin D started kicking in. My muscles relaxed and I could breathe fairly normally. A few minutes later I went back to sleep, exhausted from the whole thing.

Wow. That must’ve been really scary. How did having that experience make you feel?

Oh, absolutely. From that moment, my entire mentality towards life changed. I became a different person and told myself I would no longer be that quiet girl who didn’t participate much. I wanted to live life to the fullest because I felt that there’s no guarantee I’d live forever – my cancer could come back at any moment.

Even though cancer was hard it helped me become the person I am today. I enjoy life more and sometimes speak my mind way too often than I should. Cancer taught me to live happily, love more, and to take risks for the pure enjoyment of the experience.

How do you use your story as a cancer survivor to educate people about it? 

I actually gave a speech about it when I started my senior year – it was the most people I had told about my story at once. Rumors were circulating which was upsetting because people didn’t know and were, frankly, uneducated about what I was going through. Some people weren’t sure if I had cancer or not. Some of them thought I was dying. Others thought the scar on my neck was because I had my tonsils removed. One of my teachers even said, “Oh, I’m glad you’re alive and surviving!”

I think cancer and anything uncomfortable makes people act so awkward because they don’t know how to respond. So, when my school’s Relay for Life offered me to give a speech about my experience, I jumped on it. I was tired of the gossip and I wanted to set the record straight.

So, I do speak about it when I feel it’s the right time or needs to be shared, even with strangers. People find me beating cancer as inspirational. But, I just see it as me moving forward in life. I’ll usually reveal I’m a cancer survivor if I know someone is suffering from the disease or know someone who’s dealing with it because if I can use my experience to help others, I will. I never really had that when I was going through treatment and it made the process harder. So, if I can help anyone, I’ll do it.

How do you give back to the cancer community? Do you volunteer?

Yes! I participate in my local Relay for Life through the American Cancer Society and THON at Penn State. However, I feel the most positive impact I can make for the cancer community is through education. One way is teaching people how to catch cancer before it gets worse – that is the best-case scenario for fighting it.

Even educating people about their body is important. Especially with regards to the thyroid, many people don’t realize the importance of it. It regulates your hormones, growth, energy and metabolism.

Funny thing is I didn’t even know what a thyroid was until I got cancer.